


House Arrest

by RebelDrFerguson



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Blood, Mild Self Harm, Nightmares, Sex, Smut, UNIT, house arrest, whouffaldi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-07-22 20:02:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 35,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7452210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RebelDrFerguson/pseuds/RebelDrFerguson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor caused a drunken bar brawl during the Euro ‘16 that burnt down the pub and the adjoining shop. He’s put under house arrest by UNIT and Clara is now his legal guardian for 3 WHOLE months. No Tardis. No leaving the house for 12 weeks. What could be more tortuous for a man born for the universe? Will he go mad? Or will this give him time to relax, learn more about humanity and develop a proper relationship with his companion?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Burn, Baby, Burn

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will be slow. Bookmark for notifications.

* * *

 

**(Story Book Cover By Myself)**

 

* * *

 

The Time Lord didn't understand the human concept for sports. Golf, Rugby, Tennis, Hockey, and right now...Football.

Apparently this was the month of The European Championships 2016.

People walked about the streets singing and chanting, wearing funny hats and brightly coloured jerseys with logos of the different regions football teams.

With Clara out for the evening with friends at dinner, he was alone for a few hours. His late night wanderings took him to a small local pub, the place was buzzing with football fans sat eating burgers and drinking beer. He ordered himself a pint and sat at the bar watching the TV that the humans were all eagerly watching.

England VS Iceland.

The tension in the air of the room was thick with anticipation for that first goal.

He spotted a lot of England shirts, the odd supporter for France and a group of Russian fans and a few for Portugal. He counted 8 for Wales but only two guys sported shirts for Northern Ireland.

Third pint down and a basket of chips later, England were doing terrible.

"You got to hate that Rooney guy right?" he smirks at one of the French fans sat beside him.

The guy laughed and said something almost incomprehensible, accent was too heavy, mixed with the amount of alcohol.

The Doctor just shook his head and looked across to the England fans.

"What are the odds you win it?" he asked the small blonde who was cuddled into her husband.  
"Pretty good, Iceland were the least likely to get this far..." she offered  
"Be a right embarrassment if they smash you now" The Time Lord smirked knowingly.  
"Not kidding mate" said the husband as he picked up his beer.

As England scored first, a lot of the tension panned out and a few of the fans made for home early thinking the game was in the bag.

But when Iceland levelled, the tension became so heavy, a fight was on the cards as the few Russian and Portugal fans got cocky.

"You know Rooney called Ronaldo a weak captain right?" The Doctor drawled to a Portugal fan who came up to the bar for another drink.

The man looked to him curiously before scowling. "That man's never been good at anything, Ronaldo could slam 10 goals passed his nose before he fucking blinks" he growls as an English fan turns and says Rooney has always been better. The argument gets heated and a few more fans join in. The bartenders shout over the ruckus and they calm a little, but the fight really only started when the Doctor brought a fifth pint.

Iceland scored again. 2-1

"WHAT THE HELL!"

"FUCK SAKES"  
"JESUS ROONEY THE HELL YOU DOING"  
"TOLD YOU HE WAS USELESS"  
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU TWAT"  
"WATCH YOUR MOUTH THERES KIDS IN HERE"  
"ILL SHUT IT WHEN WE GET A BETTER ENGLAND TEAM YOU IDIOT"

The shouting was at all time high as they watched the England team falling apart in the final 20 minutes of the game.

"WEAK SHOT" the Doctor shouted causing a murmur of further comment about the strike.

"PASS IT YOU BASTARD"  
"OH MY GOD"

They were missing some real open chances now and the crowd was ready to kill.

The Russian fans started chanting and a few of the younger skin headed English fans took the bait.

The second one punch was thrown, a glass was whizzing through the air and a brawl broke out.

A lot of the women and men with young kids managed to escape the pub as the fighting broke out, the Doctor with them chuckling as the final whistle blew and the England team were laid in shock of being kicked from the Euro.

He watched as a chair went through a window and the fight spilled into the street, police officers ran down the street towards the fuss and sirens were heard in the background. As he wandered back towards his ship searching his pocket for his key, a trail of black smoke loomed into the sky behind him.

One of the Portugal fans shouting at him as he was stood with a police officer, but before The Doctor could say anything in response two more cops were manhandling him towards a heavy looking range rover.

He watched out of the window in confusion and yelling insults at the oblivious cops outside about being President of Earth. Noting they were wearing black, unlike the other yellow jackets officers.

As ambulances turned up and more cops, so did another black car.

Enter a rather annoyed looking Kate Lethbridge-Stewart.

 

(The Next Afternoon)

"You can't expect me to watch him 24 hours a day, I have a life, I have work...and he can't stand to be on this planet for more than a day never mind 3 months Kate!" Clara demanded as she stood arms folded by the kettle as Kate sat at her kitchen table holding a file and car keys.

"Look, Miss Oswald I know this is awkward but I told you, the Judge ruled this morning that if he didn't receive punishment he could be banned from here and you know what chaos that could cause. If he tried to turn up illegally he would be risking death" she offered with a sigh.

"The tag might not be for that long if he can show good behaviour, it's just procedure...Alien or President , he committed a crime, he cost 3 men their lives in that fight and both the pub and local shop beside it have been burnt to ruins...a slap on the wrist doesn't work with Time Lords, he might not be The Master, sorry, Mistress but he can be just as complicated and dangerous when unsupervised"

Clara looked to her confused.

"Is that what U.N.I.T does then? You supervise him?" she asked pouring hot water into a mug.

"In a sense yes, since the Doctor's return back in 2005, U.N.I.T have been very alert to any sighting of him. I know he means good and I know he's not like The Mistress, but they don't understand human life, they don't understand our concepts of money or careers. They can't die per say so they don't realise how easy we can be killed and just what can be a threat..."

Clara shook her head at that idea.

"I think he does know how we can die Kate, he's constantly reminding me about why I should leave and pursue a human life..."

Kate pursed her lips in thought. She didn't know a lot about the Time Lord. Only what U.N.I.T knew and what daddy had told her.  
He was as stubborn as he was dangerous, but he was smart. He was always different. He always offered to take you with him, but it was never safe. He was funny, sarcastic through most of his regenerations. But if anything he was always complicated and mysterious. You could never know everything about him.

She opened the file pulled out a small sliver debit card and some papers.

"If he was only being held for a week or so I would handle him myself...but as his companion you know him better, you have a better relationship and I'm afraid he's only willing to stay with you" she said as Clara sat down and looked at the paperwork she would have to sign.

According to the courts this morning, the Time Lord was under House Arrest for 3 months. He would receive an ankle tag and not be allowed to leave her flat block without special permissions.

"Once you sign and we agree his terms, I'll have him brought here from his cell at U.N.I.T" Kate sighed, falling silent as she sipped her tea and watched Clara read the small print.  
"What if he need medical attention?" Clara asked thinking about all the way he might hurt himself in her flat.

"U.N.I.T will have doctors on call"

"What if he escapes?"

"Unlikely, but again we have patrol cars on call and a surveillance van will be stationed at the end of the road until the end of the arrest"

Clara nodded, they did have things covered. All she would have to do was stop the alien from escaping and going insane from boredom.

"He's spent more time that this on earth before Clara...he was left here by his own people for a whole year when my father knew him" Kate smiled reassuringly.

"Yeah...he's mentioned that, but he's changed Kate...that old doctor is, was, he thought about things. This one, the last ones...they run on impulse" Clara sighed biting her nails.  
Kate shook her head. There was only so much she could do.

"We have to try...I'd rather him be here with you for 3 month that be banned from earth, as much as he is a danger at times, we do need him..." she offered once more patting the younger women arm as she signed the papers.

"What about work? I still have lessons to teach..."  
"We can cover your pay if you end up missing days because of him..." she pushed the debit card towards her.

D O C T O R JOHN SMITH P.O.E

"What's this?" Clara asked picking up the card noting it was for a bank account.

"His money...my father put The Doctor on the payroll when he was first stuck here, he wasn't happy at him stealing anything so it gave him more freedom to wander if he wanted to. There is a lot of money on there. Not just from wages but in rewards...even in the aftermaths of events our governments have pushed money to the Doctor as a thank you for saving earth, the last time I checked The Doctor held over 60million pounds" she smirked watching Clara's eyes grow large and her mouth drop open.

"You're kidding me?" you can't give him that much money he won't have any idea what to do with it" she half shrieked in shock and amazement.

Kate laughed. "Who the hell does Miss Oswald! Anyway, that's only one account...I limited it to 100,000, so he can pay for bills, food while he's here, you can save your money aside. you might even be able to con some gifts from him while you're at it, I'm sure he owes you some apologies. If he does run low just call me and I'll have it refilled"  
Clara nodded her thanks as Kate began to clear up the papers and made for the living room.

They stood silent as The Doctor was pulled from the back of U.N.I.T van looking a bit haggard after spending a night in a damp cell block. Frowning and even a bit feral at the guards manhandling him into her flat.

He was dropped to the sofa and uncuffed. The ankle tag already clamped to his right leg.

Kate ran through the basic terms of his house arrest and received a comment about rudeness and why did he get the blame for humans.

"Doctor...there were more than a few witness in that pub that mentioned you had been the one to start the aggravation..."

"So? you lot shouldn't take a ball of leather and over paid fairies so damn seriously" he growled folding his arms and glaring viciously at the tall blonde women.

Rolling her eyes she made him sign his bail agreement and with a few short goodbyes and you have our numbers Kate and the guards left the flat as if they had never been there.  
No more than 2 minutes of silence passed before The Doctor spoke again.

"They took my Sonic"

"Well duh, you could use it to remove the tag" Clara snapped back still frustrated he'd got himself into such a mess.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked incredulously.

"Why wouldn't I be? Doctor 3 men died last night because you thought it would be funny to piss of football fans, never mind the fire damage"

The Time Lord fell silent as she started to rant about human lives and how irresponsible he seemed to be on his own.

Why was this companion so uptight? He'd not done anything on purpose. He'd caused worse as kid with 'her'...that made him scowl further. He guessed Missy's bad habits were rubbing off.

He listened like a child being told off by a parent for well over half an hour before she stormed into the kitchen and said nothing more.  
He sat listening to her clanking plates and glasses, huffing and muttering to herself before she returned with a bottle of wine, some glasses, and a tin of biscuits.  
It took half a glass of wine before she spoke to him calmly again.

"What am I going to do with you?" she asked as he looked to her sadly. He couldn't help feel a bit abandoned, without his ship or gadgets he felt oddly vulnerable.  
"I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself Clara" he grumbled sitting back.

His small human huffed and shuffled closer laying her head on his shoulder.

"Your an Idiot"

"But I'm your idiot" he teased earning a smack to the arm.

Re-pouring her wine she handing him a glass. He sniffed it cautiously at first but settled with it.

After Hollyoaks had finished Clara mentioned she was hungry.

"I haven't been shopping, I should have gone yesterday but I got stuck marking...I'll order in and go tomorrow since I'm taking the day off"

The Doctor paused. "Why?"

"because your here, if I'm not sure your settled you'll start dismantling everything..."

He just huffed and poured more wine. It was clearly cheap, he'd have to buy her better stuff now he had some cash again.

He pulled out the tiny silver card Kate had given him. What was he going to do with 100grand?

Buy a car? Nope.  
Buy a house? Big Nope.  
Buy a new toaster that didn't burn your bread? Sure.  
Buy a new suit? Maybe.

As he pondered Clara returned carrying a takeaway menu. "Curry alright?"

He just nodded still looking at the debit card.

"We have a long weekend to spend...I guess teaching you the washing machine and dishwasher is the best start..." she huffed pulling her phone out and dialling. Before waving the menu to him he glanced at the paper in her hand and grimaced.

"Tikka and chips" he grumbled before tucking the card away and making for the kitchen for something better than cheap wine.  
Clara cocked her head at the Time Lords answer but didn't get chance to reply when the women answered the phone.

The Doctor came back carrying another bottle of wine, a more expensive one she'd been given as a gift.

It sat between them on the table unopened until the food arrived, very little being said.

Clara noticed at one point the Time Lord nodded off, but as usual his catnaps didn't last long and no more than twenty minutes later when the food arrived he was wide awake and ready for anything.

"Didn't you sleep in the cell last night?" she asked through a mouthful of rice.

He shook his head. "I can only sleep with you"

the room fell into an awkward silence as they both realised just what he'd said. The Time Lord blushed a little and tried to focus on his food.  
"Does that mean you want to sleep with me?" she teased and earnt herself an embarrassed glare in response. He felt like saying 'Who wouldn't sleep with you?' but knew he'd just be digging a deeper hole if he did.

"you can sleep with me if you want Doctor..." she offered knowing that her flat didn't host a second bedroom.

"I don't need to sleep" he said simply putting the question to bed. He stopped eating just short of finishing his food.

Clara eyed him carefully as he seemed to slouch and look more or less depressed all of sudden.

"I don't think I can do 12 weeks of this Clara, I'll go mad" he muttered quietly like he couldn't admit it to himself.

"sure you can...you've spent longer periods of time on earth"

He looked more upset by that reminder.

"Look Doctor, once we get you into a routine, the 12 weeks will just fly by...I promise, and if you get lease for good behaviour you could even get your janitor job back for a bit, that will pass the days"

He looked at her questioningly. His steel blue eyes full of fear, confusion and want. something beneath the biting coldness of them, hope was held, hope and love.  
"You promise?" his voice was so different. So not him. Clara felt like she was back to that night in the barn. He was worried.

She found that she had nothing else to say now, with no Tardis and no time to fix things, they had to go ahead.

"I promise" she said in the most convincing tone she could offer.

When he seemed to accept that and go back to eating she took a moment to think herself.

She needed a plan.

Or else he just might go as insane trapped in her flat, as The Mistress


	2. Rain, Rain Boredom go away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first few days of the House Arrest are a rollercoaster, from boredom to boyfriends...Dave Oswald and falling head first into that verge of unknowing abandonment that love leaves in its wake.

Friday had been somewhat successful. Sleep had been disturbed more than once by a wandering and grumbling TimeLord which meant Clara had been a grumbling flatmate for most of the morning. 

The Doctor had learnt quickly that day, that when Humans went to bed, they needed peace and quiet for at least 6 hours or he could be regenerating early. 8 was recommended but for best results on a weekend, make it 10. 

Clara had realised since the Doctor didn't sleep she would have to find him something to do during the night that involved peace and quiet or at least try and get him to come to bed for a few hours to pass the time. 

She'd planned to get some colouring books or painting kits. He liked colours and it would occupy him greatly to sit in her living room snug in his onesie (she'd bought it for him as a joke, but he'd taken well too it) with a big mug of hot chocolate and crisps and be able to colour in detailed pictures while she slept.

At least it was somewhat productive. 

She popped to the local store while he promised to 'cat-nap' and found 3 different adult colouring books plus a bumper 1001 space themed pictures colouring book. That was enough for the first week till she could order more online.

The Doctor had learnt quickly to use the dishwasher and washing machine, yet she still had to teach him how to read the labels and how to use her new tumble dryer correctly. That would be more complicated.

Now Saturday had arrived, with better sleep, breakfast had past quietly, bacon rolls and coffee and the TimeLord was somewhat content. But for how long, was what Clara wondered. She found he was very much like a child yet also very much like a cat. 

He needed attention and care, but he also stood rather independently, he could feed and wash himself easy enough, he wasn't unable to really do anything. He just hadn't had to do anything for himself in a long time. She found that for a time, TV, colouring and basic routine would keep him calm, but when the 'human holiday' idea worn thin, she'd have a problem. 

Before bed last night she'd tried to convince him into her room so she at least knew where he was, but he seemed skittish. Nervous. At first she felt that it might be the 'closeness', but as he began to wander the house as if hunting, she now recalled the barn. Nightmares.

TimeLord rarely needed to sleep. But this one slept even less because of his dreams.

Kate had mentioned that his previous regeneration, the cuter and younger type, had mentioned he was prone to fits of paranoia if boxed in for long periods of time.   
That had something to do with an incident with a machine, something about The Matrix. Clara hadn't grasped the concept so the Doctor had let the matter drop with the simple answer of, 'Unless you knew everything what the universe held, you wouldn't understand why' 

She often felt sorry for him, he had no-one of his own to confide in that could either believe such stories he told let alone understand how he felt at times. But she knew pity and sympathy would be no good. So she knew she had to help keep those dark matters aside for his and her own sake. 

"Does this look like a rose or a collapsing star to you?" 

Clara looked up from the book she had been pretending to read. She'd lost track of the words a good half an hour ago when she'd begun watching the TimeLord on her sofa stretched out in nothing but shirt sleeves, boxers and bare feet, drawing. He'd decided trousers were not needed if he wasn't allowed outside yet.   
She looked at the page he held up. 

It was an odd swath of curves and flashes of colour. He'd coloured the very centre black. 

"Collapsing Star?" she said with a shrug shutting the book, disinterested in it now. 

The Doctor smiled. "I thought so too"

Picking up her coffee she wondered whether she should disturb his peaceful hobby to teach him the tumble dryer, but choose not to and turned on the TV to catch up with her box sets. 

The Doctor had mentioned he like crime dramas because of the plots, so Clara was hunting down some box sets on Sky for him to watch, some of the longest sets could help pass 40 or so hours of his house arrest and she'd put his card on the bill now so she bought and downloaded all that he liked the sound of. 

So far they had Breaking Bad, CSI: New York and CSI: Miami, Luther and Bones.

He had ear marked Law and Order as well as Dexter. 

As for films, the Saw movies were something he said he wanted to watch because Missy had said they were funny and gave her ideas and he wanted to beat her at it, Clara had warned him against it saying it really was not funny and the blood and gore could give him more nightmares but he insisted. 

He'd liked Back to The Future so that was saved too, The Polar Express was a good Christmas themed one and Beauty and The Beast was his favourite kids movie. He said she reminded him of Belle. He'd earnt a kiss for that and then went all school boy shy when she brought him a cookie and called him her 'handsome beast'. 

As an advert came on between You've Been Framed, Clara pondered on TimeLord care.

Making for the kitchen she grabbed her note pad and some more biscuits before going back to sit beside the Doctor on the sofa.  
She noted down - TimeLord Care.

"Okay so let's make a list, Foods you like and don't like first" she said nudging his leg with her foot.

The Doctor pursed his lips as he opened the packet of biscuits.

"I like roast Chicken, roast Beef...rice...mash potatoes...yogurt, digestive biscuits" he said as he took a bite. 

"Favourite food?"

"Yogurt" they said in unison and Clara laughed saying she should have guessed that.

"Food you don't like?" she asked as he frowned in thought. 

"Don't like pears, their bad, figs too...asparagus is just wrong, beans are even worse...as long as it doesn't include raw chillies or smells bad I guess I'm not fussed" 

Clara noted all the things he mentioned before making a new column.

"How about bath time? How many times a week should I make sure you wash?" she asked with a smirk as he went into a rant about his biological advancement and his sort of built in deodorant. 

"I don't care about your special man sweat Doctor...your showering, shall we say 3 times a week?"

He grimaced at that idea but nodded eventually. "I'll let you choose some shower stuff when I do the online shopping..." she offered which made him curious.

"Sleeping?" "You cat nap I know..." she added quickly. "But it won't hurt for you to try sleeping properly for a few hours in the week can it?"

The TimeLord looked almost distressed at the idea of sleeping. He protested for a long time that his 20 minutes every 3 days was enough but she wasn't happy. He eventually agreed to 'trying' to sleep for 2 hours at maximum every night in her bed, with her. She'd find ways to wear him out. She was considering a treadmill, he wasn't likely to get a lot of exercise in her small flat so letting him loose running on that to kill the few hours before bed would help him burn out.

"Is there ANY drugs I can give you if you fall ill or get food poisoning? I know your unlikely to get sick but you still could..." 

He shrugged, normal paracetamol and such wouldn't do anything in such small doses to him. "If your thinking painkillers, I'd probably need to take double your dosages just for it to any effect..."

She noted that down, as well that he'd need very strong antiseptics and things so she would really have to rely on UNIT for that. 

"Okay...is that it? Anything else you want to tell me?" she asked concerned he was holding back. He shook his head.

"Apart from maybe using your bathroom once or twice, oh and not to give me too many fizzy drinks...the sweeteners and sugars build up in my stomach and either make me want to go more or give me trapped wind" 

She giggled at that. 

"What do fancy for dinner tonight then?" she asked tossing down the pad and settling on the sofa properly.

"what do you want?" 

"I have some jacket potatoes...and you like tuna...fancy that?" she asked thinking about speed and easy food. She didn't like to cook for ages because he got bored on his own.   
He nodded gently and looked about for his colouring book. He'd gotten about 30 of the pages coloured now in the space themed book, she took pride in the fact he seemed to enjoy the simplicity of the activity. 

She watched him colouring a space rocket for a few minutes thinking about a conversation from awhile ago about age. Gallifreyans under 90 would have still been considered kids. Between 110-180 was teenage like...and over 200 was perhaps an adult. 

But for 2,100 years old...he was more or less what humans would say midlife crisis. The Doctor had said some TimeLord's could hit 500 or 600 before even hitting their first regeneration if they took care of themselves. So having hit what would be his 12th body at this age was rough going. Other's had died much younger. He was pretty average, but lucky for a man that travelled into danger. 

Putting the potatoes in the oven and filling the dishwasher she made sure he had a cup of tea and made the decision for a quick trip out to the local shop for the week supplies, she could teach him how to set up the online shopping next weekend.

When she came back about 40 minutes later she found him on his knees in the kitchen surrounded by soap suds and wet towels and the dishwasher door having been taken off.  
"What...what happened?" she looked about her half soaked floor and worried about leaks.

"No idea..." he coughed looking about, his sleeves rolled up. "I heard a grinding noise from in here and then found I had no tea left so came in to make another and found it like this...I managed to soak up most of the water before it soaked into the floor..." he pointed to the 4 wet bath towels he'd yanked from her bathroom. 

Clara put the bags on the table tops and tucked away the cold stuff in her fridge before helping him finish the clean up. 

At least he was practical. He might seem above such things, but he knew what he was doing, he knew what damage water could do, what fire could do, he had emergency skills and handy skills. She began to wonder why she'd been so worried about him being here now. 

He fussed with the machine for a solid hour before giving up and sitting down at the table for his dinner with her. 

"I can't really do anything without new parts, looks like it's a hand wash job for a bit" he smirked making her roll her eyes clearly not liking the effort. 

"Oh come on Clara, it's good bonding..."

She blinked and then chuckled at his cheeky smile.

"did you wash dishes by hand as a kid?" she wondered. 

"Of course, chores were a huge thing for me a s kid, a real kid mind you...I was about...40 before I was allowed to stop doing chores. But then farm work and the academy was dumped on me..."

That sounded so weird. But he was weird. He wasn't human. 

He didn't sleep with her that night either. He'd promised to try later but for now resigned to nap on her sofa. She didn't push, he'd soon feel the need for better comfort.

 

Sunday was unexpected, for the Doctor at least. 

With all the fuss of the past 3 days Clara had forgotten to mention to the TimeLord that her father would be coming over for lunch.   
It was when he phoned that morning she recalled and dashed out to the shop for better wine.

"Where have you've been?" the Doctor asked as Clara stumbled back in through the door to see the Time Lord stood in his onesie in her small hallway holding a cup of coffee.   
"Needed wine...Dad's coming over for lunch in a few hours"

They entered the kitchen and the Doctor sat at the table confused watching his companion as she double checked all her items and cooking times on packets.

"Do...you want me to go hide in your room?" he asked quietly seemingly lost and feeling that he was trespassing on her family. 

Clara paused in opening a bag of pre-cut veg and suddenly felt guilty. They needed to plan a story.

Putting the bag down and putting the kettle back on she sat down herself. 

"No, I want you here...if you're going to be staying this long Dad will see you eventually so it might as well be now, but we need a cover story, I can't just say your here under house arrest because UNIT arrested you..."

"Who does your dad know me as?" he asked biting his thumb in that cute way he has when he gets nervous.

"I mentioned you were John Smith...the school janitor, he's seen you from a distance, but not met...this body up close, so he won't now you're the same guy from Christmas"   
The Doctor smirked at that memory. Naked Swedish boyfriend. Gods he gave her Gran a right eye full, he was shamed to recall that he didn't have as much as he does now to show her.

"So...what do we say?"

"I'm just going be honest, we got talking at a few nights out, we both love travelling, both love reading, you've been visiting me for a few months and well...we might be on the verge of dating...does that sound alright? It's just really all I can think of to be convincing of why your living here..."

The TimeLord pondered for a minute then nodded. It did sound plausible. 

"Oh a scale of 1 to 12 how serious is this 'verge' of dating?" he smirked making her look away embarrassed. 

"3?" she said making his eyebrows go up.

"I like 3...my favourite that one, 3's good" he smiles as she fights down a blush and sweeps away a bang from her face as she gets up to go back to cooking. 

"So boyfriend? or..."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it" she said briskly as she read the back of the new potatoes and he chuckled. 

He helped her with some of the preparation before going to get dressed. Trousers in this case were mandatory. He needed to make a decent impression or else her dad might make it a habit of checking on his daughter and that could prove awkward if UNIT were to pop in unannounced. 

Dave Oswald was somewhat surprised to see the TimeLord when he arrived at 3. Introductions were short and casual conversation was kept light and cheerful. Dave of course was wary about The Doctor at first not seeing why he was there for dinner, but when they sat down to eat and the TimeLord showed manners and contributed decent meal conversation before The Doctor and Clara explained there 'verging' relationship, his confusion merged into a smile and seemingly became accepting of the idea. 

"You're not mad?" Clara asked worried her father was peeved about the idea of having a boyfriend who was a clear 22 years older. (The Doctor had said he was 50) 

"Any reason I should be? As long as your happy love, I don't mind, I'm sure John knows that if he upset you he'd have me to deal with anyway" he laughed, the TimeLord just grinned showing an understanding of the comment. 

If was a slightly odd feeling for him, he knew what the feeling was. The protectiveness. Having had a daughter and granddaughter of his own, he knew too well the want to kick the face in of a boy that upset his 'princess' so to speak. 

"She'll be treated as queen I assure you David, She wouldn't have to pay for anything again if I had my way" he smirked making Clara choke on a carrot. Dave looked puzzled and sat back sipping his wine.

"Why is that?" he asked puzzled.

"Well I've worked in many a profession, my savings are somewhat, high end, I may be on my way out of work..." he winked towards Clara as Dave looked to her.  
"If...we do settle in, she wouldn't have to worry about bills ever again, I tell you that much" 

Dave blinked. He was rich?

"Clara tells me your work at the school?"

"Aye, I do now...But I've worked for some big cooperation's in my 'younger' years" he offered, making Dave nodded in realisation. UNIT being the biggest.  
"So what sort of profession are you John?" he asked sitting back as Clara moved things about clearing the table and The Doctor passed her bits and pieces. The perfect couple act was pulling off nicely. 

"Handy man probably covers it...I have talents and skills in engineering, I'm a bit of perfectionist so cleaning has been a big part of work and other areas so I'm rather open to any types of work" 

He tried to keep the answers loosely based, janitorial work, cleaning hallways and lockers and fixing things in classrooms couldn't really be given much more credit.   
He did get a D in jiggery pokery. 

As the Doctor got up from the table David noticed the TimeLord limping. The ankle tag was tight and uncomfortable to the point where it was an issue.  
"What you done to leg John?" he asked as they moved back to the living room. 

"Oh this?" he turned thinking quickly and patting the offending leg. "I err, slipped, stupidly enough, one of the kids... had spilt some water on the stairs on the second floor a week or so ago and being uninformed of it I fell down them and hurt my knee and ankle pretty badly"

"You might have hit your head too if I hadn't been there" Clara said from the kitchen as she came in with coffee.   
The Doctor just smiled as Dave took the bait and sat down unquestioning. 

Both Clara and The Doctor breathed a sigh of relief when he left. 

"That could have gone sooo badly" she said stepping over to him for a hug. "Thank you"

The TimeLord smiled and carefully hugged her back. "Glad to be of help"

When she pulled back, she hesitated to let him go, he stood curious, wondering what she was thinking before watching as she leant up to peck his lips ever so softly.   
But as small as the kiss was meant to be, she didn't get chance to pull away properly, there lips brushed as they both froze in a wanton embrace.   
Something was burning. Something was there and it was screaming for freedom. 

Being unable to ignore the tight and crushing need in her chest Clara pressed forward again and kissed him harder this time, sneaking his arm around her waist, The Doctor kissed her back, soft and slow, gentle and curious, accepting and searching. 

It was when they broke for breath did they fall into giggles. 

The look in Clara's eye told him it all. 

That 3 was a clear 10.

They had fallen head first into that verge.


	3. The Killer Domestic Lifestyle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As The Doctor's first week passes he starts to find things harder than he guessed, unsure about how he's going to cope, what the universe is doing without him and how he feels about Clara are a bad combination for his mental health. (Mentions of blood and swearing)

"Will you please keep still!"

The Doctor paused in his messing with the ankle bracelet on his leg. The damn thing was too tight. It hurt. He could see a small bruise appearing and he was sure as hell it was rubbing the skin because it was as sore as a bull's branded backside, not to mention the itching. 

"It's going to drive me mad Clara..." he practically whined dropping his foot again and slumping back on the sofa as she watched the TV screen intently. 

"I know, you've said it several times today already, and I told you Kate will come on Thursday to loosen it" 

"But-"

"No buts! Shush!"

He huffed. This TV show was boring. 

What the hell was I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here? 

It was now, Tuesday. Day 6 of his house arrest. Another 78 days to go. 

Clara had brought a NASA calendar just for him that had pictures of the planets on just so he could mark down the days. It made him feel better about it. He knew what day it was and how long he had. He could also remind himself if Clara had events or her parents would be around. 

The Doctor had still not slept with her and he was tired now, his cat naps weren't enough as his body gave into the inactivity and depression of being locked in. It was late evening when they sat down after making omelettes together to watch TV and he felt like nodding off, maybe he'd just rest his eyes before resigning to bed, his back wouldn't be happy with another sleep on this sagging sofa anymore.

He'd kept awaking late in the morning having passed out for several hours or so from boredom and his neck and shoulders were starting to feel the strain, never mind his lower back.

Clara had told him to come to bed. She was completely prepared to sleep with him, she'd even gotten more of his clothes and PJs from UNIT after asking Kate for provisions from his ship. 

His favourite pillow, a few of his favourite books, even a tartan blanket that he liked so much was thrown over the back of her sofa. She'd catch him stroking the item at times as if recalling the times he'd spent with it. 

As the show credits rolled, Clara jumped up and he snapped awake finding he'd nodded off for the last ten minutes of the show. 

"Tea?" she called as she made for the kitchen.

"Please..." he drawled quietly as he watched the adverts flash on the wide screen.

As a advert for some aftershave came on and he watched a women ripping a guys shirt off, he began to think about him and Clara.

They'd kissed on Sunday. The thought still made his lips tingle and his heart race. But since then nothing more had happened. Clara hadn't mentioned it. Nor said anything remotely in the 'dating' area of conversation. 

It was like...he'd dreamt it. Part of him hoped he had. Human attachments were bad. 

Bad.Bad.Bad.

A wolf then appeared on the screen in the advertising of some car...

Bad Wolf.

The Time Lord shuddered, shook his head mad at himself and stood up with a groan. He turned to see Clara in her PJs stood by the doorway holding two mugs of tea and packet of biscuits.

"You going to join me to bed tonight?" she asked as if expecting him to say no. 

The Doctor shook his head. "I'm just going to the toilet"  
Clara didn't respond as he slipped past her to the loo, she put his mug on the coffee table and made her way to the bedroom.   
She settled herself in bed to read for an hour hoping that the Doctor would change his mind.

After another mind numbing human TV show about some magician, the Doctor found himself with one question. 

Go sleep with Clara or stay awake and risk passing out on the sofa again.  
He knew what his answer was, not that he was going to admit he'd like it.

Clara was settling to turn her light off when she heard the footfalls and tiny knock at her door.

"Yeah?" she asked trying to hide her smile.

"Clara...where do you keep kitchen towels?" 

Her smile faded. Why the hell was he so stubborn.

"Third cupboard from the sink" she huffed ruffling the sheets slightly annoyed.

The shadow of the Time Lord disappeared and after a few minutes Clara was about to resign herself to sleep when he came back.

"C-Can I come in?" 

He sounded upset.

She didn't get to respond as the door handle moved slowly and the door was opened gently and closed again as the Doctor stepped in looking sheepish.  
"Clara...I-"

"Come to bed"

He looked to her and tried to speak but he was suddenly at a loss for words. Gawping like a fish for a good minute trying to form a sentence he gave in and pulled his shirt off over his head. 

She could see it in his eyes never mind his body how tired he was getting. 

She watched as he sat on the edge of the bed, looking about as if someone was hiding in the room to kill him.

Apart from the light at the side of her bed, the rest of the room was quiet dark.

Was he scared of the dark? He was looking into one corner of the room that was darker than the rest uncomfortably as if expecting someone to attack.

"Doctor?"

He didn't move.

Reaching out she touched his arm and he flinched turning to her as if he'd been lost in some trance.

"Just for a bit, I'll leave the light on if you want" she offered not wanting to take a risk of him fleeing the second it went out.  
With a deep breath he pulled off his socks and trousers and pulled on the blue PJ bottoms that were folded neatly on the dressing chair. 

Rubbing the back of his neck he paused beside the bed again eyeing Clara.

She looked so beautiful in that small black silk negligee, her breasts accented by the heavy cut neck V in the fabric. 

Bad. Very Bad. But...a good bad. 

Shoving the thoughts back he lay on top of the covers, it was too warm for him. 

As Clara rolled over to the rest an arm across his chest, he willed his hearts to calm. He wouldn't sleep if they didn't stop freaking the hell out as if he was a teen again and that really popular girl from the academy had just smiled at him. 

With a few deep breaths he closed his eyes. Listening as Clara's breathing evened out and she fell asleep beside him.

A car went by.  
A police siren in the very distance echoed.  
A cat crying.  
The hum of the fridge eventually reached his ears and finally his own breathing.   
He liked life when it was peaceful.

But silence this...thick...scared him. 

Opening his eyes he looked to the window. 

He could just see the sky and stars from where he was and he began to wonder about everything that was going on while he was trapped here.

Were the Daleks destroying somewhere?  
Had Missy escaped Skaro, was she somewhere causing chaos or plotting another scheme to kill him?  
Was The General trying to call him about something on Gallifrey?  
What if they'd abandoned him as President and some other idiot was now sat there like some evil dictator once more?  
Was the Tardis safe?   
Did he turn of the dishwasher before he came up?

That thought snapped him from his depressive mood.

When did worrying about the universe turn into did I turn off the dishwasher for Rassilon's sake. 

With a sigh he closed his eyes again and focused on Clara breathing. 

Before he'd reached count of her 200th breath he was asleep. 

>>>

The morning of day 7 was typical. Clara was up early for work as she'd been the day before and he was currently getting a shower as she made herself some breakfast.   
As he dropped his PJs to the floor and kicked them aside he glanced at himself in the mirror. 

He'd already checked this body out, but he couldn't help but stare in a mirror and pick flaws with it. 

He was too skinny. Though at least broader than his last one.  
He was physically a lot older too, but what is one to expect when your over 2000 years old? 

He traced a hand down his jaw feeling the beginning of stubble, down his neck, over his chest, flicking one of his nipples before splaying out over his stomach.  
It was flat at least, no midriff or noticeable fat. He could feel the muscles beneath the skin even if they didn't show. He wondered if working out would bring them out?  
He did a lot of running and glancing down to his legs, he noticed they were more muscular than the rest of his body.

Would Clara really be attracted to this?

With a sigh he ruffled his sleep messy hair and stepped in the shower.

As he washed his hair he found himself thinking about Clara. She'd walked into the bedroom earlier, already showered in only a towel to nudge him awake.  
The way the water dripped down her back...over her shoulders, down her breasts, her bare legs as she walked away. 

Had he ever seen something so lovely?

Part of him wanted to call out for her to slow down so he could watch her walk, to turn around so she could flash him that beautiful smile, a wet angel...  
It was as if his mind had become a broken record inside a few days. 

Clara was stuck in there like a sofa wedged in a doorway and no matter how hard he shoved or twisted it wouldn't move till he thought about it.   
As he began to wash his body down with the Lynx shower gel Clara had brought him, he found the scent of it had him thinking it was her hands all over him.  
His eyes closed and he tried to imagine her...

Hands running down his chest. Teasing his nipples making him bite his lip.

Down his sides and holding his hips fingering the waistband of his trousers. 

Round the back to grasp at his bum, commenting how firm it was.

Back up his chest and over his shoulders, round his neck to pull him in for a kiss.

Opening his eyes he was staring at the floor now breathing heavily as he felt the blood rush to his groin and saw his hand move to touch himself.  
Her nails scraping low, all the way down to his groin.

Her cheeky grin as she kneels in front of him.

The way her lips open to take his cock in her mouth and the heat of her tongue taking him over the edge.   
He groans loudly as he feels himself spill into his hand with a jerk of his hips. Too quick.

Taking a moment to get his breath back he bans the image of naked Clara giving him a blow job from his head and steps from the water to dry off.  
He dressed lightly and made it into the hall just as Clara picked up her keys to leave.

"I'll be back at four okay?" she said pausing as they met in the small corridor. 

He nodded lamely, just wanting the day to end already. 

Seeing him so down she leant up and kissed his lips sweetly before opening the door and leaving the TimeLord stood in the hall confused and buzzing from his orgasm. 

With 7 hours to kill he took to fixing. Clara had pulled out her dad's tool box and left him a list of things in the house that needed tweaking if possible, 2 door handles, the leg of one of the kitchen chairs, a radiator and the carpets needed a vac. 

He noticed some dishes in the sink as he padded over the kitchen floor barefoot to turn on the kettle. Add washing up to the list since the dishwasher was still broken.   
He'd given up the idea of getting it fixed and planned to order her a new one.

In fact when he thought about it, her flat could do with a makeover. 

With his cup of coffee and an ordinary screwdriver to his disappointment, he started for the two door handles. 

One of them had become so loose it was falling off...easy job, new screws.  
The other was broken...the lock wasn't working properly and it took the Time Lord good 20 minutes of fiddling before he got the thing off and took it apart to find out why.   
His attempt at fixing it didn't work so another thing on the list was a new lock for the bathroom. 

As he went back in the kitchen for another cup of coffee, he looked to the clock...6 hours to kill.

The leg of the kitchen chair was easy once again. He just glued a piece of thick folded cardboard to the uneven leg and ...ta-da. No more spilt tea when you sat down.

5 hour and 55 mins to kill...

Vacuuming the carpets helped past the time quickly, moving furniture and making sure he got under the cabinets etc...3 hours and 48 minutes to kill.

He slumped to the sofa with a glass of lemonade, drinking it slowly as he considered making toast.  
The ticking of Clara's mantelpiece clock sounded unbelievably loud in the small and empty flat.   
He'd never noticed the thing before and stared at it incredulously as if it was mocking him. 

Tick, Tick, Tick...  
Sigh.  
Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick...  
Louder sigh.  
Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick...

"Shut up!" he growled at the small ornament before tossing the glass to it in a rage, it smashed and knocked the clock back so it slid and sent not only itself but an old Christmas card and a small wooden toy down on to the carpet with a thump into the puddle of leftover lemonade. 

He paused assessing what just happened and frowned. 

When the hell did something as little as clock become such a bother to him? He was bloody TIMELORD, they loved clocks. Well sort of. 

Was he really that damn old and grumpy...

Rassilon's bearded aunt, he needed to get a grip. It had only been a week. 

"Just...keep going...work...work, work, work..."

He paused and frowned again. "Great now I sound like that RnB singer Clara loves so much" he muttered to himself running a hand down his face and standing to clean up the mess, but as he grabbed to quickly at the largest chunk of broken glass, he yelped and pulled his hand back. 

Blood dribbled down his palm and onto his shirt. 

"Shit"

He watched as the crimson bloomed on the white cotton, hypnotised for a moment before looking down to the stained piece of glass and the mess.   
Desperate to hold on to his sanity now he took a deep breath and forced himself to think. One step at a time. Patch the cut, then clean up.  
He made for the bathroom all thoughts to make food shoved aside and hunger forgotten. 

 

When Clara returned home she didn't hear any movement and that worried her. But as she made for the kitchen she spotted the Doctor laid out on the sofa, cat napping.   
The list of his 'Things-To-Do' sat on the arm rest, all crossed off.

With a smile she picked up his empty coffee mug and entered the kitchen. 

The plates had been washed, the chair leg had been somewhat temporarily fixed she noticed as she gave it a wobble.   
It was then she saw the drawing.

Her flat. 

It was a bird's eye view, one of those layout blue prints like designers would use, she noticed the kitchen and bedroom had been re organised, her bathroom too.   
She raised an eyebrow at the his notes about colour schemes. Did he plan to redecorate?

"Pastel blues are apparently in season, whatever that means"

Clara jumped and spun round to see the Doctor leant against the doorway with a smirk on his face.

"How was school?"

"Fine..."

"Good"

The Doctor stepped over to look at his drawing.

"Hope you don't mind, but I was thinking to help you redecorate, god knows how much you've been on about it"   
Clara smiled and hugged his side. 

"That would be great, at least it would keep you busy yeah?"

He nodded almost sadly, before pointing with his bandaged hand to the living room space with his which hadn't been done.   
"I'm going to let you choose the sofa's for that...it's too small for a large three seater but we might get a corner sofa in?" he offered but Clara was distracted by his hand and grabbed his wrist to examine it.

"What happened?" she asked with a motherly like tone seeing the steri-strips covered by some thin bandage.

"Cut myself, a new coffee table might go well-"  
"How did you do that?"  
He sighed and she glared worryingly at him.

"I dropped a glass...grabbed at it too quickly and sliced my palm, it'll be fine, just needs a day or so and I can take it off, I just don't want to get blood on things" he snatched his hand back and turned for the coffee machine.

Clara nodded and dropped the subject. Best not to prod a lion with a sore head or sore hand in this case.

"Kate text me at lunch said that she'll be here early tomorrow to loosen the tag..." she said in what she hoped was a cheerful manner. The Doctor just nodded and poured the coffee.  
As he lent on the counter top just staring into the black liquid, Clara came up behind him and hugged the solemn Time Lord.

"77 days to go..." he whispered as if he didn't want to admit his fate. The days didn't seem like anything to Clara, days were days. It was her life. But for him every day here was like losing half a century of running the universe with a freedom he'd been born for.

"You'll be okay, I promise" she muttered into his shoulder as she took hold of one his hands on the counter.

At least he had something. 

Something to hold on to.

Something that held on to him.

Clara.

 

When Thursday morning arrived, The Doctor couldn't wait for Kate to turn up.  
She'd promised to come loosen this damned ankle tag.

Clara had left him the task of online shopping while she did her half day at school, and he was browsing the ASDA website for wine when Kate knocked on the door.

"Hello Doctor"

"Finally"

Kate just smirked as he stepped aside to let her in, she was dressed in her usual suit with her lightweight black overcoat, high heels and carrying what looked to be an old school doctor's leather bag.

"What's in the bag?" he asked as he sat back down on the sofa in the living room, beside the laptop. 

"New kit, we agreed at meeting last night to change your tag, give you a lighter one...the heavy tags are really only needed for criminals who are given bail or parole and need tracking 24/7, since your range of house arrest is so small, you don't need it" she explained as she fussed in the bag.

"Can't you give me parole?" he asked hopefully, wondering if Kate would eventually just let him go. She looked to him blankly at first before looking saddened and shook her head.  
"I would...but, your case is too harsh, if those two men hadn't have died Doctor..."

He looked to the floor, she had a point. He'd not killed on purpose so manslaughter wasn't applicable, but he'd been an assistant in their deaths and he felt terrible for it.  
"I knew being friends with 'her' would be bad for me..." he sighed as Kate pulled out the much smaller tag and band, the back of it had thick felt so it wouldn't rub on his skin.  
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions" Kate smiled as she opened a small box of screw keys to remove the tag on his leg.

"You can say that again"   
They laughed. 

They stayed somewhat silent as she unlocked the bigger tag from his leg and she helped him to patch the wound it had made. 

"Clara didn't tell me that over the phone" she said putting the plaster over the broken skin. "If she had I'd have made excuses to come sooner"  
"I wish you would"

"Excuse me?" she looked shocked and nervous suddenly.

"I meant..I wish you had" he blushed at the brazen idea the comment flashed in his head and looked away. It was no secret. Kate had a crush on him.  
Osgood had let it slip at that UNIT at Christmas. He'd noted then not to let that women get her hands on sherry, or else she might even up 'sharing' launch codes or some such to Missy!

Now with the smaller tag replaced the Doctor felt happier. 

"I've readjusted your range...you should be able to walk down to the local shop and post office without it going off now, but please don't try to go further, I shouldn't have even changed it to that" she sighed sadly standing back up and packing the kit away, clearly she was feeling bad for locking him inside. 

He guessed everyone at UNIT was feeling a bit put out by the fact there 'planet's greatest hero' was house bound. 

If the planet were to come under attack, he'd be of little use unless they could get to him quickly enough with his ship, screwdriver and clippers to remove the ankle bracelet.   
Feeling oddly fatherly at that moment, he stood and offered her a cup of coffee. 

Why not kill an hour by having a chat, it was better than trying to find groceries online. 

Kate didn't need to head back for awhile and seemed rather happy to sit with the TimeLord and talk. 

Her father was the main subject. Then how he'd cut his hand. She asking him about Clara and then she offered to help him finish the online shopping, showing him the categories and how to make lists. 

"Urgh, pears!" The Doctor grimaced as he scrolls the fruit page looking for satsuma's. 

"Don't like them?"

"They're evil"

Kate laughed, she'd have to add that to his file. 

"What's bleach for? Why does Clara need bleach?"

"For cleaning, we use it in cleaning sinks and such, we use bleach at UNIT to wipe down tables and medical areas"   
He typed in bleach and his jaw dropped.

"Why would some human need a 5 litre bottle of bleach?" he exclaimed looking offended at the idea. Kate smiled and nudged his arm. "Big toilet?"  
The Time Lord just pouted and order the smaller 1 litre which Clara had noted. 

The bill came to 264.90 pounds, with the Doctor's added 6 bottles of wine, several bars of different chocolate, nearly every take away meal that sounded good, a fold up chair set for the shared garden, several clothing items from the George range, mostly cardigans and trousers, the little denim dress Clara had wanted, a few books, the DVD set of the Bourne Trilogy and the 27 items Clara had actually listed. 

The Doctor paid on his card. No point making Clara pay when he was loaded.

He booked it to arrive tomorrow so at least he could kill most of the morning unpacking and then perhaps watch some movies.   
Kate left a little before 2. 

"I'll be round on Sunday to check on you for your 10 day review..." she smiled shrugging her coat back on.

"Bring Osgood...we'll be making a roast so you might as well join us yeah?" he offered quietly fiddling with the little paper booklet she'd given him on how to take care of the ankle bracelet. 

"Oh why not, Sunday's aren't meant for working really are they" she laughed 

"Not in my universe" he smiled.

Opening the door, The Doctor felt that cold sliver of being alone again until Clara got home and in a rather human display of affection accepted a little hug goodbye as Kate left.  
"Daddy would smirking his head off at you right now" she said smiling into the TimeLord's neck.

The Doctor snorted. "He was always smug about a lot of things I did..."

"See you on Sunday Doctor"

With that she was off, he watched as she walked away down the outside corridor to the stairs, an odd sense of pride in her. Like the day Susan had finally gotten word to him of his great grandson, Alex being born.

He was staring off into the nothing of the empty corridor for a good few minutes reminiscing about his family before the sound of a door slamming further down broke his trace and he shut the door to lean against it. 

Susan would understand human life better than him. Alex would have too. But he didn't have either of them to ask.  
He didn't have a clue whether he had any connection, family wise, on earth anymore at all. 

A slight buzzing reached his ears. 

He reached into his pocket to find his phone.

'on way back now, put kettle on - C x' 

With another heavy sigh he willed his legs to take him to the kitchen. 

He was depressed enough stuck on this planet.

He didn't need to start morning for his family, his old life.


	4. Rocky Routine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor starts work on decorating the flat, but will his mind give him the peace he needs to concentrate on passing the days?

Over the next few days, The Doctor and Clara finalized some plans on redecorating her flat.

Kate and Osgood had brought him some broachers from the best furniture store's when they came over for dinner on the Sunday. They'd all agreed the kitchen needed to be white with Tardis Blue tiles.

The Doctor got very excited over the prospect of galaxy like, sparkly floor tiles, practically squeaking when Osgood handed him a sample piece she'd brought making Kate choke on her wine laughing.

The kitchen had to wait though, the living room was first up and after several hours of arguing about textures and colour clashing, Clara had agreed to beige walls and similar light furniture to make the place look larger.

Whilst she was at work on the Tuesday the Doctor got to work with masking tape, sheeting the old furniture and cutting up the old carpet. As the first layer of paint dried, the carpet men arrived and replaced Clara old worn sky blue carpet with a patterned charcoal grey which would run throughout the rest of the flat, simple and easy to clean fabric.

Making small talk with the carpenters and preparing tea had covered a few hours and the TimeLord found himself at peace, his mind too busy planning the next thing on the list to wander into dark thoughts today.

Clara was right a routine and project might just get him through this.

With the carpet in, he placed down tarpaulins before adding the second coat of paint.

If you know the Time Lord well you know beige was just a base colour. Once the second was dry, he started on the artwork, cutting out stencils to use to help him paint, stems of large dark brown roses that ran across both walls, the petals accented with white and the centres in gold. Vines that branched out with smaller flowers encircling her mirror and splaying to the window as if they were coming in from outside.

He dropped down onto the sofa after cleaning up and looked at the instructions Clara had left him for the Lasagne.

42 minutes and she would be home. Time to put dinner on and pick a box set to start on.

He was smiling when Clara got in, still admiring his handiwork.

"Wow...you've done a great job..." she gawped as she looked about at the painting. It was beautiful.

"Roses were always my favourite..." he said quietly sipping his tea making her smile knowingly of his older companion.

 

* * *

 

 

Clara had the Wednesday free because of a school trip she wasn't attending so could help when the new furniture arrived that morning.

A corner sofa in light cream gave them more walking space, then a large single chair that reclined opposite it with a the new coffee table with storage drawers in the centre.

They discussed replacing the TV as the older thicker unit seemed out of place.

"What size could I get in here?" she asked looking at the space in which the TV was stood.

"That is a 30 inch I think and there is still space, so, we could get a wide screen 36" he said flicking through the Argos catalogue  he'd found in the guest room.  

The WE in his sentence made her heart flutter.

He made it sound as if they were moving in together, as if they were a young couple, not a human with a house arrested time travelling alien.

She stood watching him on the sofa as he muttered about cabling.

"We'll look later, let's get the painting started on the hallway or we'll be doing the second coat over dinner"

The Doctor nodded and dropped the catalogue aside as Clara moved to get her brush.

She stopped abruptly in his way as she stooped to pick up the paint can, making him run into her backside and he gave it a cheeky pat as he had to dodge around her. She giggled as he winked and the pair fell into a comfortable silence as they started on the hall.

Clara knocked on the radio during the second tea break and had started to sign along with the pop star the dance trace featured.

 

_"You're so amazing, you took the time to figure me out, That's why you take me, way past the point of turning me on...-"_

 

She bumped his hip playfully at the last part and he smirked before flickering her overalls with paint.

"OI, right, your done for"

She splashed him back harder, a spot of paint splattering his cheek and he laughed grabbing her arm to stop her getting it in his hair.

"Watch the hair lass..." he laughed as she fell into giggles and dropped the brush to hug him.

"Why don't you go start tea and I'll finish the edges" he offered quietly into her hair as the swayed in the small corridor.

"Okay" she smiled standing on her tiptoes to peck his lips.

He got increasingly angry at how his hearts thumped away in his chest at such a tiny gesture.

No matter how he felt, he couldn't be with her. But he was. Oh it was too damn confusing.

He could, He couldn't, He really shouldn't, but his hearts were making him do things his head wouldn't.

It was late afternoon when he finished cleaning up and sat down to join Clara for dinner on the sofa.

They'd been watching an episode of Bones but he'd lost interest after awhile, his head spinning with thoughts of Clara.

As they washed the dishes side by side in the kitchen later he went to kiss her as a thank you for cooking but the kiss escalated.

His hands found her hips and her hands entangled themselves in his silver curls. Time had stopped once more as he kissed the life he needed from her sweet fragile lips. She gasped as he nipped her lower lip and a hand fell from his hair to rest against his chest. a small gesture more in surprise and the need to breath but the TimeLord took it wrong and pulled back ashamed at himself for giving into his thoughts.

"Sorry" he breathed looking sheepish stepping away and smoothing his hair somewhat, not that it helped.

"No, no...it's, what-"

"I shouldn't Clara..."

"Why not?"

The question caught him off guard. Every excuse he had was weak and he knew it. But he just couldn't. She'd die.

"I'm going to lo-"

"I'm right here...Doctor, I'm not going anywhere"

He stared at her darkly. They always left him. They always ran away or he'd lose them.

He shook his head turning to walk away when she grabbed his arm pulling him back forcefully into another rough kiss, he still kissed her back. He needed her, she was his life source right now, like a vampire needed blood.

"Clara, Please..."

"No, why I should I let you go, when I know you want this?"

He huffed and tugged his arm away.

"Doctor..."

"I'm not human Clara, 20 years, 30 years, that's a long time for you...for me, it's like living another month here!"

She paused at that thought, she forgot his perception of time was far wider, far greater. He could feel the earth moving, falling, spinning, he knew the hours from the minutes like she knew the alphabet.

He could see every day age her...everyday push her older and closer to the end.

He turned away to the door wordlessly, choking up on the idea she'd one day be gone.

"I'm not worth your time Clara...I'll never be worth how precious human time is, I can only be a lifeline for tonight, not forever..."

"I can't be the man you want Clara, I'm not Danny"

It was like cold steel in her throat.

"Why can't you see what I'm willing to give up here? Are we so boring Doctor that you can't find the patience to live with one of us because were weaker somehow? I understand it's not easy to know I'm going to die one day, but you were more than willing to accept death 2 Christmases a go, why can't you give yourself the exception and take what your rewarded with, I love you Doctor, I don't know if I'm just another notch in your Tardis console but even though time may take us, I'll still be patience with you! I don't want to let go of you and you don't want to let go of me, we can only see this life through together, we've been through enough to know this has to be worth the ending..."

She watched as a tear ran down his face and he tried to say something in response.

It was like he was ripping a part of himself out to try and form the words she needed to hear.

Holding her hands up in defeat she turned away to hang the tea towel up.

"I-It's alright, don't try answering all that tonight, just think about...it's better to have loved and lost rather than never feel love at all" she quoted and he nodded silently making for the bedroom before changing his mind and making for the front door he grabbed his coat and made for the communal garden to think.

Clara left the light on in her room all night hoping he'd come to bed.

 

 

He didn't.

 

* * *

 

Clara left early again on Friday morning. The Doctor hadn't been back to bed in two nights and the tension in the house was rising.

They were due to start on her bathroom over the weekend but it looked as if she'd be in no mood to be around him.

The TimeLord couldn't blame her. He had nothing to say and even if he did he knew he'd just be digging himself deeper. She loved him and he was hurting her by playing with her.

He'd considered phoning Kate to ask if he could be moved to UNIT but the idea of sleeping in a cell for the rest of his arrest put him off.

Making coffee he decided to sit and watch one of the Saw movies.

First one down he was already picking things wrong with it, wincing at the amount of gore. It took two cups of coffee and a cheese toasty before he went back in the living room to watch the second one.

He wished he hadn't.

The screaming and violence made him shiver, how the hell could humans come up with something so disgusting?! No wonder Missy had enjoyed these movies.

The Kramer fellow looked very much like someone he knew. He shook away the idea that he was a version of the master. The man was an actor not an alien.

As one of the main character's cut the other guy head off with a hacksaw, the Time Lord covered his eyes starting to feel sick and fumbled for the remote, turning off the TV.

He was paranoid enough that he was going to go mad, he didn't need to start having illusions that some mad man was going kidnap him now.

Kidnap?

He glanced about. Didn't Kate say he was under surveillance? Didn't that mean like cameras?

There were no obvious cameras in the room. So he began to search. If he could beat Kate at her own game maybe she'll let him go...

Wait.

Maybe this was a game?

"No, No stop thinking like that, it was just a stupid movie" he growled to himself as he spun around in a circle for the eight time making himself dizzy.

He held his breath awaiting something to settle.

A growling behind him made him jump and he spun, looking about for a masked killer.

The noise came again, more clear this time. Just water in the pipes.

He sighed and ran a hand over his face.

He was losing it.

Moving into the hall he went to open the bathroom and paused as memory of the pig masked man in the bathroom in the movie made him step back.

He snarled at himself and kicked the door, hard. It slammed back furiously, as if it would knock out anyone behind it, watching as the door handle left a dent in the plaster, he stood panting eyes darting left and right for anyone jumping out.

Missy would be loving this, his torture of being trapped here and his tortuous mind playing tricks on him.  Entering the room slowly, he lent on the sink feeling hot tear well up in his eyes.

If he didn't get a grip on himself he was going to destroy what friendship he had with Clara.

He tried to think about Anura, the water world, masses of beautiful underwater cities full of life like the coral reef.

About Kantra, the Tropical and jungle like world that had huge crystal beaches and huge caverns to explore. Coconuts that were three times the size of the ones on earth and recalled the time he found the Daleks hiding there.

But thinking about planets just made him homesick. Made him queasy, the thought of the speed of the planet made him shake, his head rushed and his insides gave in, he vomited into the sink.

He stood gasping for air for a moment, looking at himself in the mirror, then getting upset at himself he lashed out smashing the cabinet with his fist.

The shatter of the glass, the stabbing in his hand and his cry of pain brought him sharply back to his senses.

He slumped down beside the bath tub and watched as a trail of blood ran down the back of his hand a chunk of glass sticking out.

Unable to find any strength to move he let himself doze off on the floor and awaited Clara to come home and pull him from his nightmares.


	5. All of Space, Time and Zoos.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor's depression is worrying everyone and when they try to help they get a bit more than they bargained for, but when his relationship with Clara finally comes out of the closet, is this a chance for her light to outshine his dark?

The previous week hasn't been the best. He has to admit. From a low to a high to ground zero things were slowly levelling back out.

Clara had lost all her grievances with the Time Lord when she saw him on the floor that night she got back from work. Patching him up took more than antiseptic and a UNIT medic. It took Kate and herself 8 hours of fussing, making tea and just talking to him.

Talking him down from whatever hell he'd flown into. When he finally opened up, Clara and Kate had wished they'd never poked at the cracks. It wasn't the envisions of planets, the fact he missed his people, or the fact he knew he was desperately in love with his companion. It was the water works. He'd cried all the way through his rant, spilling out everything that was on his chest and he hardly paused to breathe. They both learnt that night they didn't understand. They could never really understand.

The Doctor had learnt that too and even though it hurt him to burned these simple minded beings with stories of guilt and violence, they were right when they said they were trustworthy and all they could do was try and help.

After two nights in a small celled room in the UNIT HQ because Kate was worried about him, he was brought back to Clara's half redecorated flat and relived when he was hugged, fussed over and kissed like he'd always belonged there.

They'd been sat on the sofa on Sunday eating takeaway and watching CSI celebrating the end of the first month when Clara spotted something she maybe shouldn't be worried about as much as it was bothering her. That was The Doctor's 4th glass of wine. She looked over to the bottle which was almost empty by now seeing she'd had two from it.

"Steady Doctor" she half joked as he topped up his glass from the last of the wine in the bottle.

The TimeLord smiled and sipped at the white wine. "Don't worry I can handle 4x as much as you guys" But Clara pouted. "Doesn't mean it's any good for you"

The Doctor half shrugged and continued to watch the TV.

Putting down her plate and shuffling stuff aside so it didn't get knocked off, she took the empty bottle into the kitchen to put in the bin. But paused when she saw an empty one already in there. That hadn't been there this morning.

"Doctor, talk to me" she said softly as she came back in reaching for the remote and muting the TV.

"I'm fine"

She sat down and took his hand before messing with his shirt buttons which were askew. Neither spoke for a few moments as she re did the buttons.

"You're trying to lock yourself up, it's not going to help, say something" she begged lifting his injured knuckles and kissing them.

"I love you"

Okay. They weren't what she expected and it took her brain a few moments to form a sentence back.

"You know I love you too"

"No, I-I mean I LOVE you Clara, that's what's bothering me, your upset because you think I don't" he sighed sitting forward and running his free hand through his hair.

Clara shook her head. "I know you do Doctor, you were right, this is going to be hard, but I know you love me, you love me enough to try and keep me from hurting if this went wrong. I just- I guess I've just accepted that, this is the first time with someone I've felt so alive, your everything I ever loved Doctor, it's not the face, it's just you"

The TimeLord struggled with words for a minute before Clara cut him off with a kiss.

Her lips were soft and warm, caressing his own thin and cool ones into moving, kissing her back, it felt like taking a medicine he'd put off for too long, a painkiller he'd tried to convince himself he didn't need any longer.

The kiss became a breathless snog, became a passionate make out session as she pushed the TimeLord down on the sofa, unbuttoning his shirt to feel his heart's beat beneath the plains of his chest.

The Doctor's hands found her hips, his finger's tracing Gallifreyan symbols into her sides.

"Doctor..." Clara's panting whisper in his ear sent blood rushing to his groin and he audibly growled into her shoulder as she nipped his throat.

"Please Clara, You have to-"

"I'm sure Doctor, please...love me"

She was on her back in a moment staring up into the darkened eyes of the 2000 year old alien, a tiny part of her went cold, like a small animal beneath a predator.

But as his lips came back to hers, to her chin, her neck, her breasts, she found herself warming through, crossing her legs in an anxious attempt of holding off her surging arousal.

They fell into a speechless moment as they stripped each other, mutters of want and harsh breathing as the Doctor's belt was unfastened, his grunt of need as she palmed the bulge through the fabric, he was like a slave and knew no better as she unzipped him and pulled them down to his ankles along with his boxers, she shuffled from the sofa, pushing him to sit up as she wrapped her lips around his cock.

"OhOh fuck" the Doctor clawed at the sofa as the heat of her tongue against the sensitive underside of his cock sending waves of pleasure through his body.  Vibrations as heavy as someone banging on a thin pane of glass, he clamped his eyes shut against an onslaught of pornographic images in his mind, the idea of Clara bent over his console, in his bed, legs spread and her folds glistening with her orgasm.

He moaned aloud as she sucked harder, his legs shaking now, he was fragile in both body and mind, so unused to this sort of physical attention.

Clara loved the sounds he made. The way his body gave his need and desperation away, the way his cock twitched and he bucked his hips, gasping her name as he got closer and closer to an early orgasm.

"Clara! I'm going to-CUM-AH!

She held his hips down firmly with her forearm as she let his length slip from her lips, grasping it firmly and stroking as he came, thick ropes of semen ran down her hand and splattered on her chin as he moaned and fought to buck his hips.

She let go of his cock after a moment and licked her hand clean. The Time Lords eyes watching her lap and clean up the evidence of his pleasure that streaked her hand. The gesture sent new heated rushes of blood to his cock, not giving it chance to soften and it twitched with a deeper meaning, he wanted her, he needed inside of her.

She stood, pulling him up, kissing him longingly and then kissing his chest affectionately before turning for the bedroom throwing the last of her clothes aside just as he did, kicking off his trousers and boxers and wandering after her naked, one hand on his cock the other shutting the door behind him.

In the bedroom she pinned him to the cover's, hands above his head and as she examined him. Her finger's trailed the outline of his ribs beneath the alabaster skin. The thin grey hairs that trails from his navel, to a tight curly scattering around his erection.

She ran a finger over the throbbing shaft and smiled as he groaned out. He watched still dazed as she settled herself over his cock and lowered herself down, the heat of her pussy overpowering the heat his cock felt and he moaned out,  his hands breaking free from her grasp as she slid down his length, gripping her hips and thrusting upwards sharply making her gasp and steady herself on his shoulders.

"Doctor!"

He might have been just over average length but he was definitely thicker than any man she'd been with, the stretch made her gush, her arousal flooding forward slicking his cock almost instantly as he flipped them over pressing her bodily into the bed and began to rock his hips slowly.

Her scent filled his senses and their combined scent of arousal filled the room as Clara begged him to go faster.

Through the harsh panting, ruffle of covers, the sound of skin on skin and gasping as Clara reached her peak for a second time, did you hear the mutterings of an ancient poetry. The Doctor kissing and whispering words into her throat as if it were a magic spell.

The words were incoherent to Clara, the translations unavailable as he thrust faster, sweat dripping down his face and her eyes fluttered closed as he whispered a secret into her ear.

She came for a third and final time alongside the Time Lord in a loud audible scream of his name.

His real name.

 

* * *

 

In the middle of the fifth week, The Doctor noticed something on the Calendar which frustrated him, worried him and made him plan swiftly.

Clara's Birthday.

He'd surfed the internet for hours hunting down presents.

A new TV being one of them as he somehow managed to knock a can of paint flying and it covered her TV.

He pre ordered all the items for the kitchen and book the men to arrive on Friday to refit it all.

A new sparkly Tardis Blue handbag with matching purse caught his eye and that was in the basket.

But it was when he saw the line up of rings on the website he paused. Clara had lots of jewellery, bits and pieces she'd brought from market stalls mostly. But nothing as pricey or as classy as these rings.

Ever since having sex with Clara that night they were back to acting like a domestic couple, the talk of space and time more or less just a over dinner conversation, planning what to do when he was freed.

He closed his eyes and his hand fell from the laptop to his stomach, not because it was almost dinner time, but because it ached. He ached. He missed the universe. He was physically feeling strained and his fingers itched to feel the cool metal of the console. To hear her engines grind and the familiar tapping of his shoes on the grating floor.

But when he opened his eyes again, he was sat in the newly refurbished living room, alone.

Clara was still at work.

He sighed loudly and set the laptop aside to go to the bathroom.

Maybe they could go out, wait scrap that, Kate said he couldn't go past the local shop which was frankly five minutes down the street.

As he stood over the toilet thinking he glanced in the mirror. He looked tired.

He was tired. He wasn't sleeping very well. He was back to staying up late and passing out, wandering around the house at 3am feeling sorry for himself. Even though he was now chin deep in a relationship with his companion and found himself at ease with his feelings, he couldn't help but now miss the freedom he loved so much.

He needed to walk about, he needed fresh air and something to distract him more than painting.

Flushing the loo he made for the phone, maybe Kate could help.

"You want to take her out?" Kate asked over the phone. She had to raise her voice over the sound of drilling in the background.

"Yes, It'll be her 29th birthday on Saturday and it's already Wednesday...come on Kate you must know something we can do" he sighed rubbing his forehead.

Kate pondered a moment. "There is something, but it involves me and Osgood being there, it involves me deactivating your tag and attaching a taser bracelet to you..."

The Doctor growled and thumped the wall he was lent on. "Fine, whatever, Kate you know I am not going do a runner, just do this for her, she's having to put up with my bitching and bad mood so I can at least risk an electric shock just to give her a nice birthday" he went to make for the kitchen when he spotted the leaflet for London Zoo.

"The Zoo?"

"What was that Doctor?" Kate shouted before covering the phone and shouting at someone in the back to stop what they were doing.

"The Zoo, Clara hasn't been to London Zoo since she was young, maybe we can go there?"

Kate thought about the idea, public place, undercover UNIT guards, they could take them in the range rover.

"Okay, you have a day out Doctor, the London Zoo it is, shall we say pick up at 10am?"

 

* * *

 

After all the noise and mess and fuss and raff on Friday having her kitchen ripped out and half rebuilt, (they were coming back on monday), she was looking forward to a quite weekend with her Doctor, maybe they would decide the colours on her bedroom, their bedroom. Get takeaway food, just sit and watch his box sets.

But was awoken far too early for her liking on Saturday morning by the fact the Doctor wasn't in bed when she rolled over and the smell of bacon.

She lay in bed for no more than 15 minutes when the door opened and the Time Lord came in with a tray.

"Wakey, Wakey Clara, big day today"

She grumbled at the cheerfulness in his voice and waved a hand at him to go away.

"Come on lass, breakfast time you'll want to eat before we go out right?"

Clara sat up at that and looked about, had she dreamt the House Arrest? Looking down to the floor she spotted the ankle bracelet and breathed a sigh. Nope, not a dream.

She looked at the tray the Doctor set across his lap as he settled back on his side of the bed, full English breakfast sandwiches and fresh coffee.

"where going out?"

"Yep, it is your birthday" he smiled offering her a card off the tray. Clara smiled and nudged him playfully. "Awww, did you plan me a day out, wait, your under house arrest how are you doing that?" she asked as she opened the card.

"Kate organized it all, don't worry, she'll be here at 10 with Osgood so get eating and showering, because lord knows how long women take getting ready" he jibed and he got his nose booped and kissed.

As Clara started eating the Doctor fetched her present.

"Oh, My, God! It's gorgeous! Where did you find it?"

The Doctor blushed as she admired the handbag. "Oh just...you know, on the internet" He hadn't looked at the shop, nor really the price, not that it mattered.

He earnt another cheek kiss for that as they settled to eat.

Once showered and dressed, he took her downstairs to show her the new TV, it had arrived yesterday and had taken the Time Lord since 5am this morning to install.

"Open your eyes"

Clara did as she was told and gawped at the new flat screen TV that filled the originally wide space her old one had sat.

"Oh wow, is it one of those 3D ones?" she asked spotting the brand name. The Doctor nodded. "Not sure why you need 3D TV when you have real life but I guess it works with certain movies"

Glad that Clara was happy with her presents he grabbed his jacket. He'd donned a new outfit for today,  A casual charcoal coloured rock band T-shirt with one of his white shirts on top then he had his new black velvet waist coat, undone of course, stonewashed jeans and top it all off tan leather versions of his boots.

He must have looked rather dashing as Clara had been eyeing him since he came out of the bedroom and he was starting to think she was planning how to rip them off his body again.

The greetings were short when Kate and Osgood arrived, cards and presents handed over, Kate clamped the bracelet on the Time Lord and deactivated his tag in the half done kitchen while Clara was getting her phone, before they jumped in the UNIT range rover and made for the Zoo. Not that Clara knew where they were going.

The Doctor covered Clara's eyes again as they arrived closer so she couldn't see the signs.

He uncovered them as they pulled up as she squealed in delight. "The Zoo, oh my god I haven't been here since I was about fourteen!" she hugged her alien 'boyfriend' in excitement.

Getting inside was as easy Kate flashing the UNIT credentials and announcing they were touring the President of Earth, 4 tickets on the house were handed over.  

Clara had never been more in love with the Time Lord than she was right now, holding his hand and wandering around with Kate and Osgood looking at Tigers, Monkeys, Lemurs, Wallabies and sea lions.

Clara got another surprise when they stopped for something to eat, Osgood said she'd forgotten something in the car only to return with a birthday cake. The Doctor had brought something else along with him. He'd not mentioned the thought to anyone, but decided to wait for a more romantic setting. He still had 6 weeks left.

The day had been fun yet tiring as Clara was practically yawning when they got home at 4pm.

They made a quick dinner and sat snuggled on the sofa. Clara was becoming concerned now that the Time Lord wasn't sleeping. The dark rings under his eyes were all to noticeable and he wasn't as talkative as he'd been all day.

When she yawned again, the Doctor lifted her palm to his lips and kissed it gently. "Bedtime?"

Clara shook her head. "It's only 7"

"But you're tired"

"So are you" she said hoping he'd agree and come to bed for once. He nuzzled her hair breathing in her exotic fruits shampoo before whispering in her ear.

"Maybe, we can, burn off that cake before bed?"

Clara blushed at the suggestion, Birthday Sex? She'd hadn't gotten that in a long time.

Turning off the TV they made for the bedroom.

The undressing was slower this time, silent, kisses more meaningful and longing, The TimeLord smirked as Clara bit his bottom lip when her hand found his erection. No matter how tired he was, his little human could get him going.

Instead of the Doctor getting an inspection this time, it was her, as he brought her to orgasm with his mouth two times in a row. The taste of herself on his lips as he penetrated gave her such an erotic rush that not ten minutes later she was begging him to come, begging him to join her over the edge and his name echoed off the walls of her room once more.

As they lay catching their breath, Clara reached over and turn off the lights.  She listened closely to the TimeLord's hearts as they slowed and he drifted off beside her.

When she awoke no more than two hours later to the Doctor coughing she found him standing by the window in his underwear looking out into the sky. She felt horrible. He was like a lost puppy right now and it was hard to offer comfort.

"Doctor?"

He turned at the sound of her voice.

"Oh, sorry did I wake you?"

"A little" she admitted smiling. "But why are you up?"

"I-I can't sleep...I c-I keep trying but I just, don't..." he sighed heavily and let his head thump on the cold window.

Getting up Clara went over to her handbag and pulled out a packet of tablets in a sealed blue plastic bag stamped with U.N.I.T. She fetched a glass of water from the bathroom and placed it on the windowsill beside him.

"Take that" she said rubbing his back before bending to fuss with something in the plug socket.

"What is it?"

"Sleep pills, Kate said they have been made to a dose you wrote down for her father years ago. Just one of them is 3x as strong as taking two average ones we can take, it will let you sleep, at least just for tonight"

The TimeLord sighed and having staring at the item in his hand for a minute swallowed it down. It couldn't hurt.

Climbing back into bed before Clara he watched as she turned on the little lamp she'd plugged in.

The room filled with stars, planets, galaxies.

"Wha-How did you-?"

"A few nights ago I went into UNIT and asked Kate if I could talk with the Tardis, this was before Kate brought me the pills, I asked her how she'd help you sleep, she gave me the glow light, it's replica of the software she uses in her walls, I forgot about it till now..." she chuckled.

The Doctor smiled. Actually smiled, one of those toothy smiles that he only really used when something went right for once, grinning like a kid at the roof of the room as he watched video's of the Vegas galaxies swirl around her lights.

Clara climbed into bed beside him and snuggled into his chest. The Doctor bent his head for kiss as she settled back to sleep.

Eventually the glow light did it's work making him drowsy enough that the sleeping pill took hold and he was snoring away as if he'd never been awake.


	6. Emotional Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paranoia, it's the worst. Even worse though when you know about a species of shadow that are alive. The Doctor's losing it, or has he already lost it he's not sure. One thing that is sure though, is that this is where a decision must be made about how Clara and he continue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Few mentions of self harm and blood, a lot of swearing and...general things like that, yeah)

Paranoia.

 

It's not fun is it. Always thinking you're hearing things. Always looking back over your shoulder when you feel someone there. Always sitting in bright rooms for fear something will attack from the dark.

By this point, the Doctor was sure he was losing it. After throwing a mug at the actually not moving wall and passing out on the sofa only to awake screaming he was being eaten by it he was sure he was going to insane.

Padding groggily into the kitchen in his pyjamas bottoms he lent on the new kitchen counter and looked to the calendar.  Week 6, it was now Thursday again and he was certain it had been Thursday yesterday. Wait was it yesterday? Had tomorrow even happened yet? It must be Thursday because Clara hadn't crossed the day off.

6 weeks left. 42 days. 1,008 hours. 60,480 minutes to waste.

He shook his head and ran a hand over his unshaven face. The day's were beginning to merge together and with such an unruly sleep pattern he was uncertain whether it was day or night inside this small flat. All he knew was that time was passing. Time was flying by at an incredible rate and it made him feel sick.

Making coffee he walked to their bedroom and looked about. The walls were no long lilac coloured and the floor no longer an odd brown. Over the past 3 days he'd repainted the place to look like his room on the TARDIS, the walls a shiny metallic navy littered with tiny silver and gold stars, the roof currently unfinished, but the outlines of the milky way had been started. He'd ordered the new bed which had arrived this morning. Built the thing whilst swearing verdantly about the Swedish and about crappy screws and then passed out in the living room.

He looked back out into the hall as the pipes rumbled. He glanced down the hall just in case it had been the front door. He went half way down just to check someone hadn't walked in. Then stormed back into the bedroom tutting at himself for being a soft bastard who'd lost his skin and should stop thinking he was going to get mobbed by Vashta Nerada.

He dropped down on the bed and looked to the clock.

14:52PM

3 hours until Clara got home.

Just 3 hours.

Just 180 minutes give or take 10 and she'll be back nattering about kids, about homework about detentions, about him, about dinner about....everything.

Picking up his mug he noticed he'd already drunk it. Had he even filled it?

He rubbed at his forehead. He couldn't think. It was like his mind was stuck like some broken record, like something had gotten jammed in the cogs and couldn't be pried loose. Something was missing.

The TARDIS.

As a telepathic race, the TimeLord could talk to his ship. He could feel her. But today, she wasn't there. She was quiet and it frightened him. It was like that time he'd watched it fall into the hole on that space station with the Ood. Lost.

He stumbled back to the kitchen and reached for the wine box. Unscrewing the top he swigged back from the bottle then grimaced. He hated submitting to such a human drink, but the alcohol helped. He found the more he drank the better he could think, it fuelled his head.

He dropped down to the floor beside the fridge grateful for the cold metal against his bare back. He'd spent longer on earth than this before, so why couldn't he cope now? Maybe he'd grown too used to travelling. Though, he hadn't been subjected to the matrix then, he'd been somewhat sane and in his own mind. With every regeneration after, he'd found himself loosing bits of himself, finding new things and then resurrecting oldest parts of him and running about like he was having some midlife crisis.

"And now that you've lost tomorrow...is yesterday still a friend..." he muttered the lyrics to some song he'd heard the Mistress signing a long time ago.

"Did you hide yourself away? Are you living like a ghost..."

Another swing from the bottle and he could hear her voice.

_"Did you hide yourself away, because I can't see you anymore..." she was dancing in the fields, the blade of red grass crumpling beneath her heels._

_"All the precious pieces are gone...everything that matter is just...a city of dust...covering both of us!"_

A bang awoke him from his daydreaming and he grasped the bottled tighter. Drinking from it for courage he stood wobbling and made back out into the hall.

What it was, was the postman dropping a parcel through the letter box. His red glove visible.

What the Doctor saw in a haze was the hand of a Zygon and the blur of red through the frosted window as if left, dropping the almost empty bottle wine not caring as it spilt and splashed onto the new carpet, he glared at the package.

They were rebelling again. They knew he was here. Zygon Osgood knew he was here! The black box must be some bomb. It was crazy right?

In but moments he was too hyped up and feeling the effects of the wine in his head to even consider anything but was his paranoia was screaming at him.

He scrambled for the tool box in the living room hunting for something to remove the tag.

Finding pliers he dashed for the phone and fought to dial Kate.

When she answered he was almost in tears. Genuinely freaked out.

"Doctor...?"

"Kate, there coming!"

"Wh-Who are?" she sounded worried, the rustle of papers in the background.

"ZYGONS! one was just here, it's left a bomb I hav-I have to get you, I need out"

Kate stalled at the other end of the phone and he heard Osgood in the background.

"IM NOT CRAZY" he shouted hearing the other women asking if he was delirious.

The ticking of the mantelpiece clock torturing his mind that it was indeed a bomb and he proceeded to try and unlock the tag from his ankle with a pair of pliers.

Kate held the phone away and covering the mic told Osgood to get a car.

"Doctor...Doctor! Can you just calm down for one minute!" she half shouted trying to get some sense for the TimeLord. "Where's Clara?" she asked.

"It was here! I saw it's hand" he panted grunting as the pliers slipped and nicked the skin.

"Doctor, Where's Clara?" she tried again.

"At the School"

"Okay, we'll pick her up on our way, stay on the phone...Doctor!...stay, on, the phone!" she demanded grabbing her coat as they made for the car park. She could hear him panicking and fighting with something. No doubt the ankle bracelet.

"Doctor leave the tag-"

"They tracked me!

"They didn't Doctor, they are not revolting, it wasn't a Zygon" she tried to say calmly as she slammed the door of the jeep.

"What did Zygella tell you that? Yeah like you can trust her!"

Kate rolled her eyes and pointed for the driver to turn left for Coal hill.

"Doctor, where are you?" she asked trying to keep him talking.

He almost had it. Just this one bit of plastic wouldn't budge.

"Doctor?"

"In...the flat" he finally responding pausing himself to get his breath, his fingers bleeding as he tried to cut and pull at the ankle bracelet.

"Just stay there, okay, Doctor no one is going to hurt you, your safe there"

"But the bomb" he yelled looking back down the hall to the box.

"It's not a bomb"

"Then what is it" he demanded snarling through his teeth as he gave the tag one last wrench and watched as it snapped cutting his ankle quite badly with the sharp plastic.

"I-I don't know" she realised that was the wrong answer when she heard him moving again.

"I-I've done it, I'm coming!!"

The sound of a shuffle, a rattling, something that was definatly keys and a bang, Kate knew he was out of the flat and on the run.

"Doctor! Go back!" but he'd gone and left the phone behind him.

 

* * *

 

3 Hours and 27 minutes later, Kate and Clara were walking through town with UNIT guards asking anyone around about the sighting of a 50 year old man in pyjamas. Clara hadn't seen her day going this badly. One women who'd been at the bus stop outside the flat had said The Doctor had run past her in utter panic but she didn't see which way he went when he got to the end of the road.

"He could be anywhere" Clara sighed as they stopped for the third time in quick succession at a junction.

Police cars were slowly driving around the town as well after UNIT raised the alarm about an escaped convict.

Clara was dreading to think what The Doctor was doing. He could be climbing Big Ben to create some stupid device, he could have jumped off the Thames bridge, again, to swim and find some way out of London and drowned, he could be hiding somewhere in the underground train stations...it was useless searching such a big city without sightings.

Osgood had gone back to the HQ to help the helicopters tracking the TimeLord and take any phone calls that might lead to him.

When Kate was about to suggest they go back on themselves, Clara had an idea.

"Kate think, what building in London does the Doctor know about, places with safe rooms or places he can access equipment?"

Kate shook her head, she didn't know the TimeLord as well as her father had. "Loads of places, Downing Street, I guess, The Black Archive, but that's guarded...maybe one of the universities? "

Clara paused to think. None of those places sounded like the Doctor's type of 'Safe' to her. He always ended up somewhere, quiet, clam...somewhere you wouldn't go in a time of crisis.

Just then a UNIT guard shouted from standing by a police car.

"Ma'am! Sighting of The Doctor at London Zoo...something about Otters Ma'am"

Clara and Kate both looked at each other in confusion. Otters?

Then Clara remembered.

_I lived among otters once for a month. Well, I sulked. River and I, we had this big fight-_

She started laughing mostly in relief that he hadn't gotten himself in any danger. "Well...fancy another trip to the Zoo?" she chuckled and Kate smiled nodding at the police car. "Let's go"

When they arrived Osgood, 2 UNIT guards, 2 police officers and a few Zoo keepers were standing around the otter enclosure smiling and laughing to themselves.

The Doctor was indeed in with the Otters. According to the keeper she'd been in there that afternoon to feed them and found him curled up amongst the gang in there shed . She'd been surprised, but recognised him after he'd asked her all sorts of questions about the animals when they visited the week before and instead of waking him she called the police after seeing the news of him on her phone.

"Doctor!" Clara shouted down into the pit where the TimeLord was currently sat on rock watching the otter's dive for a ball he was throwing for them.

"Hi Clara! Look I made friends" he grins a bit tipsy before picking up one of the wet river cats and giving it a cuddle. It squeaked joyfully and he put it back down to throw the ball again.

"He's going to need a bath" she complained quietly as Kate just smirked. "He's seems okay now...I hope at least, let's get back to HQ, get him re-tagged" she sighed as Osgood made for the gate with a towel and hoodie in hand.

The Doctor hadn't really wanted to the leave the Otter's so soon. But the Zoo managers had been swayed by the 'Mental Patient' story that they offered him to visit for free any day he wanted and he could go in and play with the otters. They seemed to like him.

Sat in the back of the UNIT car, now a bit more dressed and with a take away cup of tea from the Zoo, The Doctor sat being cuddled by Clara as one of the UNIT medical staff bandaged his wounded ankle. It was no longer bleeding but his run through the city had gotten it full of muck and dirt and they needed to prevent infection.

"Sorry I ran away" he muttered into her shoulder.

"It's alright, you're not hurt and no one got hurt so...but, the judge might not be pleased..." she looked to Kate who was on the phone furiously tying to state to the court that this hadn't been a real attempt of escape and that he'd been suffering from a delusional state thinking we were under attack.

"They're going to make it worse aren't they?" he asked sadly really not looking forward to staying longer than before. Clara shrugged.

"Even if they do make you stay, I'll take some leave, only work half days or just a few days and Osgood will come nanny you when I am working" she said leaning down to kiss him.

The Doctor grimaced. "I don't need a nanny, I'm 2000 years old!"

"I know that, but you're going crazy alone, she'll only be there to keep you grounded, then at least the postman will no longer look like a Zygon" she smirked and his eyes went wide.

"It was the postman?"

"Yep, with my new knife set I ordered, remember you said my old ones were getting dull?"

The TimeLord inwardly groaned. The postman....thank god no one here was from Gallifrey, he'd be the laughing stock of the planet!

 

* * *

 

Dropping Osgood and The Doctor back at HQ so he could be cleaned up and visit his ship as he'd asked, Kate took Clara back to the Flat. The moment she stepped in and looked about Kate noticed the wine bottle on the floor in the hallway. "Clara...Has he been drinking?" she asked picking up the bottle and reading the label.

Clara dropped her keys on the table and hung up her coat. "Yeah, but not too excessively, he can handle way more than humans..."

Kate shook her head. "He shouldn't be...Alcohol still effects certain synapses in his brain, he's a lot older than he used to be, and this body is a lot older, he may think he can still handle it but from today's act, it's obviously having an effect" she put the bottle down in the kitchen as she followed Clara in for coffee.  

"I've tried to cut him back, but 4 or 5 glasses later he doesn't seemed bother by it" she said leaning on the counter as Kate admired the room.

"Nice floor" she smiled seeing the sparkly blue star granite.

"Thanks"

"I think the Doctor suffered more than what he's letting on when you arrived on Christmas...parts of him died there Clara, parts of his mind, regenerated or not, this Doctor is not the same one we knew..." she offered gently hands in her pockets watching the younger girl staring off into space.

"This isn't going to work is it?" Clara asked and Kate looked puzzled.

"I thought...thought that if he had me, if we started to settle in, fuck! I planned to quit my job for him and stay with him but I can't be with him can I?" she asked upset wiping a tear away from her eye.

Kate shook her head. "You're trying to have a human relationship with a 2000 and what knows year old Gallifreyan that was more or less a reject from his own people, that he chases danger, he picks and chooses companions like pets and really only visits us because it's the safest place in this part of the galaxy to refuel his ship...Clara, what were you thinking? you know once this is all over he'll leave right? He'll be right back in that ship and gone, god knows where and when and how but only because he has you and you demand to return does he bother to come back...Clara...if he was on his own, he wouldn't stop"

Clara was crying now. Kate was somewhat right, she was trying to make something out of someone who just wasn't what she wanted.

"I if were you...I'd go look for a new man, a human wouldn't get you killed" Kate offered looking out of the window.

"Danny did...Danny got himself hit by a car, we die, he dies...everyone dies Kate, The Doctor is no different" Clara growled pouring the coffee.

"Exactly...he can promise you forever, but only as long as you or this body lives, come the next one, you might not like him, come your death, he'll move on, may change, maybe forget..."

"He'd never forget...the Tardis wouldn't let him" Clara said handing her the mug.

"What about Miss Smith...the Doctor came for her, took her, brought her back when she was done and never came back for her...not until that day he ran into her at the school...he landed her Aberdeen and just left...has he ever mentioned her?" Kate asked recalling the news report on the older companions death.

Clara shook her head.

"Miss Smith died 4 years ago. He doesn't even know. He never asked, never went looking...Clara he truthfully doesn't care anymore once he finds someone else, as they say in London, he's one of the biggest players out there..." Kate sighed sipping her coffee and they both waited for Osgood to bring back there convict.

 

The evening after, Clara went out. She shouldn't have. She should have never left. She knew it had been a bad Idea. But when school was over, she got changed and went out with all the other teachers to get drunk and celebrate the Ofsted report.

She'd phoned ahead to the Doctor who'd spent all day finishing her bedroom and said he'd probably be knocked out when she got back because Osgood was going to make him take the sleeping pills and to have fun.

She did. 3 drinks became 4, 4 became 6 and 6 became 8. By the time everyone was on the dance floor at the club, it was 1am and Clara had found herself half pinned to the wall of some grimy underground dance club kissing the new substitute PE teacher. Michael. Or at least Mike...she couldn't remember his name as his tongue met hers. He was tall, light haired, huge baby blue eyes and Clara couldn't believe she was doing this.

He seemed nice. He was gentle at least, very suggestive about her though. He wanted to ditch the party and make back for his place. But she'd somehow convinced him in a taxi and headed for her flat.

They stumbled in through the door snogging like teenagers and his shirt was already coming off. They'd have had sex in the hall way if the neighbour hadn't been awake and saying goodbye to someone he'd had round in the corridor.

The jingle of the man's belt rang in her ears as his fingers found their way into her knickers. He was muttering all sorts of obscene and naughty things in her ear. She was just about to pull her skirts higher to lift her leg when the bedroom door opened and the light came on.

"CLARA!"

They both turned to see a confused TimeLord in his grey beetles shirt and question mark boxers who glowered at both of them in utter disgust. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he hissed venomously. His eye's never leaving the younger bloke who let her go and stood back fumbling to redo his belt.

Clara stood panting against the wall looking between Mike and The Doctor, it took all of her non inebriated brain cells to figure out what she'd almost done, had been doing and then notice the TimeLord had also gotten a haircut and it was back to its short cut from the first time they were together.

"Doctor...I-"

"Save it" he snapped and the younger bloke looked shocked.

"Sorry Gramps, your daughter said no one was home-" he offered doing up his shirt and trying to make a getaway.

"I'm her boyfriend" The Doctor snapped internally shocked at himself as the words flew from his lips and storming towards them barring his teeth like he was about to rip the younger man's throat out.

"Pfft, he's your ex? no wonder your look for someone new Jesus!"

Clara shot between him and Mike but only halted the TimeLord's advance because he'd have to push her aside. "Docto-"

"I said save it...clearly I'm not what you wanted Clara" he wouldn't look at her as he continued to stare down the younger male in the flat.

"Oh my god...your dating HIM? He's like 50! God bitch what did you get fed up big dicks and go looking for some old dude to fuck so you could have his money?" Mike jeered reaching for the door but the Doctor was faster. Clara was forcefully moved aside the second the word 'old dude' left the young man's mouth and his fist connected with Mike's jaw. As the younger stumbled to his feet to fight back, the Doctor threw open the door and kicked him in the back shoving him out into the hall and swearing viciously that if he ever saw him near Clara again he'd sell him to the Slitheen as processed meat!

 

With the door slammed, the Doctor leant on it and turned to Clara in the hallway. She was half in tears and half in shock. When they made eye contact she stormed away pulling the band from her hair and into the bathroom shredding her clothes as she went determined to take a hot shower.

The half an hour she spent sat on the floor of her tub crying in the shower didn't make her feel much better and she woke up over an hour later to a towel being placed over her and herself being lifted carefully from the tub.

She noticed another towel placed over her pillow as The Doctor carried her into the bedroom, he placed her in the bed before drying her with a darker towel, wiping away the left over tears, kissing her cheek and then turning off the lights.

She watched him as he then tossed the wet towels to one side and climbed back in the other side of the bed in his T-shirt and boxers with a heavy sigh.

She wanted to say something to apologise, for him to tell her it didn't happen or that it was nothing, but neither of them spoke.

They must have fallen asleep because when she woken again, the sun was rising and the birds were singing. Her head pounded and throbbed and she rolled over tucking herself deeper in the covers still trying to pretend last night never happened. But when she noticed the Time Lord awake beside her reading, she tried to speak.

"Hey" her voice was hoarse and she ended up coughing.

The Doctor glanced sideways at her before finishing the line in the before snapping it shout and placing it aside.

"Morning" he grouched looking at her with a cross between disappointment and concern. Like a Dad.

She'd blown it. She knew it from his tone. She'd blown the chance of a relationship now, so here came the 'old man' routine of 'I have duty of care' parenting and scolding she was going to get about getting drunk and how she should have known better. But he sat quietly hands in his lap eyes roaming what he could see of her chest from under the sheets.

Might as well get started on that apology.

"I'm sorry"

"No you're not"

Wait. What?

Clara's innocent look of upset turned confused. "How-what do you mean I'm not sorry? Did I dream last night or where you drunk too?" she grumbled feeling her head being to double in pain and she winced.

"You're not sorry because I am Clara...you'd have never done that if I hadn't been such a paranoid, outdated, old bastard who can't admit he's going loopy trapped inside a small humans flat and doing a runaway convict act on you yesterday" he huffed running a hand over his face. It was then Clara noticed he was unshaven, with dark rings under his eyes.

"Did-Did you try and stay awake for me?" she asked reaching up to his face but he turned away from her hand like a cat who didn't want attention.

"What do you think?...Osgood made me take the sleeping pills but that didn't mean I was going sleep...took them when she left at 9, I stayed awake until maybe 12:30 and I must have crashed because I awoke to the door banging and hearing that 'pudding brains' voice saying just what he was going to do to you in the hallway, you know what happened next, then you buggered off into the bathroom for over an hour so I came to fetch you to bed and found you sleep in the tub, brought you to bed and then haven't slept since" He shuffled from the bed and reached for his trousers which were tossed on the dresser chair.

"Why..." she found herself asking for some stupid reason.

"Why? Why the hell do you think? I've spent the last 24 hours wondering just what the hell I was going to do to make up to you for the shit I pulled then you go pulling this on me and...I thought you had something, I thought we had something Clara, this was going so well, until I lost my damn head and then you just decide to jump ship and jump on some other human rats cock  because clearly I'm not enough or can't even be anything close, two hearts is clearly not anything special compared to a human fuck muscle toy that clearly had an IQ no bigger than a peanut!"

Clara wasn't sure what to say until she remembered what Kate said.

"But what are we to you then?" she snapped climbing out of the bed herself and fighting back the wave of nausea that attacked.

"You pick us up like toys and put us down when you don't want us anymore, how is that any different Doctor? It's not like if this didn't work for us, you'd not find some other companion to cart away in your snogbox"

With that said he whirled round on her now half dressed his T-shirt laid aside and suddenly fright was trickling up her spine. His eyes were like ice and his body as staunch and tight like panther about to pounce.

"Companions...are...rare..." he spat as she backed away, but with so little space because of the huge new wardrobe  she hit the wall and feared she'd have to put up a fight.

"Don't, you DARE, try to compare how I could ever feel to your stupid little human lives!" he roared. The sound hurting her head even more and she cringed against her head ache. "Out of 7 billion of you spineless pudding brains I've found 40 if that of you have been anything but worth my time!"

40? To Clara the number was at first a lot, but when you put 40 against 2000 years old and 7 billon humans, it was small. A meagre amount of humans that had been worth this Gallifreyans time and she'd been lucky enough to be one of them.

He was close enough now that she could smell the sweat, the heavy scented aftershave he'd tossed on just because and the coffee scent on his breath.

She was going to be cornered. She tried to moved out the side of him but his arm shot out grabbing at her throat.

 Okay. NOW she was scared.

His grip wasn't anything dangerous but it froze her to the spot in fear. His thumb directly over her pulse and pressed just enough that she could feel it pounding away in her neck.

He pressed his face closer and she could feel tears. He'd never hurt her. But she'd never seen him so out of his mind, so out of place, out of his comfort zone and now so heartbroken.

His presence felt huge over her small frame and she lifted her hands up to push at his chest. The effort was weak and he didn't even budge. His hearts hammered beneath her palms.

"I'm sorry..."

The words left her lips like a well know and overly told lie. The only words humans knew. It felt like trying to put a plaster on a cracked wall. Useless.

As tears welled up in the Doctor's eyes Clara watched as the wall he'd raised crumbled back to earth and he lent close enough to kiss her. "Tell me to go" he breathed anger and sadness pent up in his chest. A silent plea for her to make some choice here.

She shook her head. She'd chosen him long before this and she had decided she wouldn't let go unless he did.

"Doctor...I love you"

The tears broke out and her hands moved from his chest to his neck as he claimed her lips, his hand falling from her neck to her hip and his legs shaking as the grief and stress flooded from his body, they gave way till the pair were but a crumpled heap on the floor of tears, kisses and whispered apologies. Clara could forget her hangovers worries for now as she lay in his arms. In the arms of a man who loved her, of 2000 year old TimeLord who whispered in her ear Gallifreyan expressions of love and desire, of hope and of fears that no one knew.

 

Something this world wasn't worthy of.

This is when Clara realised. She had become his world.


	7. In Your Dreams....MISSY!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm...what once was heaven is becoming hell....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long to update, work popped up just as i hit 1990 hits and I was stuck for a whole month too busy to finish editing this chapter so it's passed the 2000 mark which I promised the upload for! So sorry, but here we are and I hope it makes up for it!

The Doctor slowly came back to himself for a bit on Sunday night. The weekend had been slow. Nothing but the two of them, watching DVDs , making meals, rough fucking on almost every surface, just keeping him occupied and somewhat sane.

It was when Clara went to swap the disc in the player for the third time did he finally say something other than criticism about the movies.

"I'll got to U.N.I.T tomorrow" he muttered staring off into space, looking at one of the flowers he'd painted on the living room wall.

Clara paused looking back at him sat on the sofa. Unshaven, eyes dark and hair wild, semen stains on his jeans and a cup in his hand.

"Why?...your okay"

The Doctor blinked and looked to her as if he'd been in a trance before scratching the back of his head.

"Because...I can't be alone, I've become too much of a risk for you here, it would be better for me to be away for a bit, get back on my feet and then...we can try again" he huffed looking to the window not making eye contact she noticed.

_'Away for a bit'_

_'We can try again'_

Those words rang familiar in her ears and in her heart. They rang similar to stuff ex boyfriends had said before they broke up with her a few days later. Maybe the TimeLord was still upset or maybe he'd realised this wasn't love for him.

Clara swallowed against the emotion building in her chest and shut the DVD player stepping back to the sofa and dropping down heavily holding the remote but not having the strength to press play.

"this isn't..." he started knowing what she was thinking but she cut him off.

"It is though...your bored of this, of me, of earth, your losing your head because you can't stand this planet for more than a day, I get it, I do, honestly, were insane to think we could be anything equal. your people are further advanced and they don't war with each other...were as human's are like feral animal's we still use weapons for no reason, were racist, sex obsessed, emotional and were hostile to anything that isn't human...I get it" she said in a rush and stabbed the play button with her thumb dropping the remote between them.

The Doctor fell quiet. He wasn't going to lie and say that wasn't true.

But it wasn't the complete truth.

As the movie started he could feel Clara fighting tears. He wanted to comfort her but he had no strength too.

"Clara...I-But you are unique. The human race has made advancements faster than many other races than I've ever seen, you've found life in things and cured diseases with determination to save people rather than just for the sake of the science, you create systems and governments that yes at times fail to work and cause serious issues but you always learn, your still learning, the human race is still infant. You've only been advanced in civilization  for about six thousand years. This planet is seven hundred and fifty thousand times older than you!"

He watched her pick at the hem of her skirt and sighed.

"You have to understand your still learning. You'll fight, you'll hurt, you'll died but you'll also learn, you'll survive and you'll grow, you have still so much to go forward into where as in the two thousand years I've been around I've done more and felt more and seen more  than you could ever believe. The stories would be never ending. Watching planets being born, whole solar systems being destroyed, watching black holes swallowing suns whilst eating I'm noodles! The universe isn't as small as your brains seem to think. It's so expansive even I've not been in places. There is life out there, you've seen it. Your different to other humans Clara, you've had the courage to face that idea and run with it, to follow me into danger and learn things previous era's humanity would laugh at you for. You know I'm not human. I don't think like you, I'm not built like you and I am certainly no way wired like you...I look human because being a biped was naturally the easiest physical form. Our race were oddly more ethereal about 3 million years ago, much less advanced but still as powerful. If I didn't have a Tardis or have any Gallifreyan teachings, if I'd have been born here to Time Lords and left without them, I'd be an almost immortal human...the only difference being the way I'm built"

Clara looked to him sadly. He begged her with his eyes to stop blaming herself. She'd been nothing but perfect to him since they met. Friday night aside she'd shown him a love he'd not felt in years.

After a long period of silence, the film still playing in the background  Clara finally spoke up. "After the moon incident and Danny? After Friday and my stupid mistake you'd still love me?" she asked quietly part of her preparing to hear the word No.

"Yes"

He sounded so certain. The look in his eyes was so hopeful and she was suddenly afraid just what she had done to him. What had she done to deserve the love of this alien? She had to plan. Because if he went back to Mr Grump and only Wednesday visits, putting aside any hugs, kisses and sex,  before flying off and not coming back she'd be left heartbroken and it might just kill her.

Maybe he was right. Maybe they needed some time apart to think. He needed to evaluate the heartbreak he'd be in for when she did leave him. Forever.

Seeing she'd somewhat finally understood why he'd wanted to vacate her flat without having to have some heart to heart about love they went back into watching the movie.

This was about him, not her.

 

* * *

 

 

When Monday morning arrived, Clara didn't wish to let go of the warm body beside her in bed. The one that had held her so close the night before, the one that had whispered how much he loved her as he played her body to multiple orgasms like some professional piano player creating a new song.

Part of her still wanted him to change his mind.

Another knew this was for the better before it got any worse.

He needed time away, he needed a controlled environment and to be closer to his ship.

When the U.N.I.T car arrived she watched from the sidewalk as one packed a suitcase into the boot and another handcuffed the TimeLord and settled him the backseat. The handcuffs brought tears to her eyes. So much for Hero, Prime minister of Earth. They were treating him like some prisoner.

Like the Alien he really was. She knew it was only procedure but she couldn't help wanting to yell at the men. Back up her friend, her best friend, her boyfriend.

But holding her tongue she waited for them to set off before turning and closing the door, she walked into the kitchen and stared coldly at the half empty coffee mug he'd left on the counter.

She snapped lashing out and sending the cup flying into the wall shattering into pieces like her heart. The coffee bleeding down the wall like her soul.

She collapsed into tears beside the fridge terrified that he wouldn't heal. That Kate may lock him up forever or even worse send him away and ban him from earth altogether.

Leaning her head back she spotted something stuck to the fridge. Pulling the little piece off sticky note off she read the words and a smile formed. One she just couldn't fight.

'Be Brave For Me - Please'

 

* * *

 

 

He could see smoke. In fact,  it was the dense black smog filling his lungs that awoke him.

The Doctor coughed hard. He couldn't see properly. One eye was sticky with blood and the whole car was full of smoke.

With a glance to his side he spotted the driver of the car dead against the steering wheel through the smog the passenger more or less unconscious. Scrabbling to gain purchase he realized the car was upside-down.

_'turn that off'_

_'Sorry sir we need it for orders'_

_'you take orders from me son'_

The car radio that he'd been talking to the driver about was still crackling and a few scrambled words were breaking through.

'Daniel?........zzzzzzzzzzzzz.....Daniel?........."

He scrambled to grab the device and find an off button.

'Where ..zzzzz.you?..zzzz.zzz...."

He slammed it down in the end and the piece went dead.

Turning his body he kicked at the cracked window till the glass smashed and he managed to pull himself out.

_'Sir, please...keep still'_

_'Why do I even need handcuffs'_

_'SIR!'_

He glanced down his wrists to see them bleeding the cuff's dangling off one hand the right cuff snapped open. He couldn't remember...

_'Why is it so warm in here?'_

_'The air-condition is on full sir'_

_'Well open a window'_

_'Were almost there sir'_

Looking about he found himself on a quiet road. A field to one side and a large house in the distance.

Looking back he admired the wreckage of the car which had slammed into a stone wall.

_'Get...THESE...off!_

_'Sir please, keep still your going to-"_

_"Dan just watch the road!'_

_'AHHHH'_

_"SIR stop pulling on the cuffs'_

How did they end upside-down though?

Looking the other way they'd been coming he spotted a police motorbike laying on its side. The driver not far from it sat on the curb talking on his phone and clutching his leg which was bleeding slowly out into the road.

A siren in the distance brought back the memory.

_He'd started feeling sick as they sped up. The car becoming too warm and he was fed up of hearing the fucking radio crackle._

_''turn that off'_

_"Sorry sir we need it for orders"_

_"you take orders from me son"_

_"If you weren't currently under arrest I might"_

_A sharp corner almost made him lose his stomach and anger bubbled up in his blood._

_'Why is it so warm in here?'_

_'The air-condition is on full sir'_

_'Well open a window'_

_'Were almost there sir'_

_He knew they wouldn't reach the U.N.I.T holding center for another 20 minutes and he was starting to sweat. It was way too warm. He began to scratch at his wrists and at a small spot in his hair line. Why did he itch?_

_The cuff stopped him trying to scratch his neck and he growled._

_'Get...THESE...off!_

_'Sir please, keep still you're going to-"_

_"Dan just watch the road!'_

_'AHHHH'_

_"SIR stop pulling on the cuffs'_

_"Dan shut up and watch the road"_

_"Calm it rookie I-_

_"I can handle him! --SIR stop it- !_

_The two guards had turned to see why he'd been jingled the cuffs so much and the driver tried to reach back to stop him when the other guard pushing his arm back telling him to watch the road, they began to argue between themselves as he began to yank on the cuffs, the chain was only small maybe he could snap it._

_As the passenger guard tried to reach around the seat to restrain him, Dan yelled and everyone stopped, a police motorbike had come hurtling around the corner in the few seconds Dan had looked back at the commotion again and they both swerved to avoid each other._

_The car jolted as they clipped the bike and Dan lost control of the car in the swing sending them over in an arch straight into the dry stone wall._

_From there, the Doctor knew nothing but black._

As two police cars and another U.N.I.T car pulled up the Doctor stood confused beside the wreck.

Kate's voice registered in the distance but everything seemed fussy.

Why did he...

He felt fine. He wasn't warm or sick now just...tired.

Motion sickness was well out of the window, his biological system didn't allow for such petty nuisances.

He'd just felt....trapped.

"Doctor?!"

Kate was in front of him now looking him up and down, she muttered about the blood, something about the cuffs, she unlatched them and pulled something from her pocket pressing it to the gash.

Grabbing him tightly she guided him towards her car and seated him in the passenger side as an ambulance pulled up.

"Did you crash?"

He just blinked as she began to pull items from a bag and wipe the blood from his face.

"Doctor?"

"what happened?"

He couldn't speak. It was like his brain wouldn't function. Something was wrong. Part of him was screaming in pain but not a sound left his lips.

He reached to scratch at the spot on his hair line again and Kate gasped. A deep black bruise was forming.

"you must have cracked your skull open..." problem was she couldn't see a wound near it.

"Doctor...Your bleeding internally...I need to get you to the surgery ok?"

She was tapping something to the open cut and pushing him into the seat, belting him in and closed the door.

He looked out into the road as she climbed back into the driver's seat.

The wreckage of the car and the two bodies the emergency services were pulling free.

He closed his eyes as Kate drove them away. Missy's voice playing in his head.

 

_"They say one day baby...they say you see, if you stay around her too long...they say dear Doctor you'll turn out to be like me..."_

Her laughter rang through his ears as Kate reached across and squeezed his hand in reassurance.

He held on to her.

Because he felt like if he didn't, he'd sink into an  oblivion of madness.

 

As far as Clara knew the next day, the Doctor was under sedation and in a holding cell. Kate had watched the onsite doctor's drain the bleed in his brain for over an hour.

He'd ruptured an aneurysm. Quite frankly he should be dead. But TimeLord's were made of tougher stuff than humans and thankfully with Kate breaking the speed limit they'd dealt with the issue before he'd had reason to regenerate on them.

The surgeon mentioned the thing was old. The bubble must have been sat on his frontal lobe for years. Chances were it had been caused by many things over his life. But ruptured while he was the in the car, stressing over his relationship with a silly human girl.

She knew at some point this would only get worse. She hated to think what would happen to the alien if Clara were to pass away anytime soon.

 

For 3 whole days the TimeLord was unconscious and Clara went back to work, back home, back to work, over to see her gran and then home, back to work, out for a drink and back home again. As she awoke on Saturday morning to the phone ringing she feared the worst.

"Hey"

It wasn't Kate. Or Osgood. It was The Doctor.

"Awake already?" she asked casually as if he'd only been to refuel the Tardis and was phoning ahead to say he'll be appearing in about 5 minutes and he had plans for some planets.

"Yeah, Yeah, I'm alright, How have you been?" he asked, his voice rough and tired from not being used for some time.

"I'm okay, work, family...you know human stuff, boring human stuff" she yawned claiming out of bed and looking for her dressing gown. "When they letting you home?"

Home. Her home. Something she hoped he would call home but part of her knew this was impossible.

"I'll be back tomorrow if that's okay with you?, Osgood is planning to come over and watch me while you're at work during the week"

She smiled. "I'll make your favourite for dinner then..."

"I look forward to it love"

Her heart bounced happily in her chest. He sighed on the other end of the phone and she felt a bit of him back off, back into a dark corner.

"Doctor..." she said carefully catching his attention. "You're going to be fine...it's almost over"

She didn't need to see it to know he was smiling on the other end.

"I know...as long as I have you Clara...everything will always be okay"

 

 

* * *

 

 

Waking up to a 4am guitar solo was not Clara's idea of an alarm clock. But it was one that made her laugh.

The TimeLord had been home for the past 24 hours and Kate as a get well present had given the Doctor his guitar back from the Tardis.

Maybe a bad idea seeing as he was prone to sit on the sofa at stupid hours and pluck at the strings fine tuning some song he was working on.

He looked different from the day he left, his hair was shorter from the surgery, his beard was in full swing and he was slower.

It was really like he was an old man. Grunting as he got up from the sofa or sat back down, finding it hard to bend down and huffing and puffing just going up and down the step ladders as he went back to painting the roof of her bedroom.

Clara was convinced that the bleed had done more damage than they could see, she'd show him pictures of galaxies and he sit pondering them, either not knowing them or getting them mixed up, it wasn't like him to stutter.

Kate tired of telling her it would take time, more than a day and more like a few weeks before he was back to himself, he'd been through a serious trauma and whether he was alien or not he needed time to heal.

But the physical issues were not the main concern. It was the nightmares.

He'd mentioned that while he was asleep at U.N.I.T he'd been trapped in a god forsaken nightmare as a child, a repeating dream that still burnt in his mind.

Though he was reluctant to share any details.

Clara eventually asked for advice from the school's nurse, she used to be a ward sister at the hospital but in the last few years had settled to start her retirement in caring for the minor injuries the school faced and teaching health classes.

She'd advised Clara to try psychology on him, not knowing her boyfriend was a TimeLord obviously, but none the less it was at least a starting point.

After reading it through during her lunch, she found nothing of any serious usage that he wouldn't be able to know his way around, but a few points might come in handy for conversation.

The overall best note in the book was something about noting the dreams. Writing points that were clearest down in a notepad or diary might help the brain to let go of the memory. So on her way back from work she picked up a soft dark blue leather notebook. It even had a small clasp so it could be secured with a tiny lock.

 

"A diary, really Clara?, I might be a bit 'off' myself but I'm no teenager" he frowned as he glanced over the book she'd dropped in his lap.

"It'll be good for you, trust me, writing about my dreams helped me when mom died..."

The mention of her deceased mother brought his eyes to her and they became sad. She knew it was a guilt trip. But he nodded and she smiled. It worked.

For more than a day the book lay aside on the coffee table untouched. As Clara went to bed that night, he'd been fussing with a crossword puzzled in a newspaper. Something that sound have been easy for him, but yet many of the line were unfilled and he seemed lost in thought.

Kissing his temple she left him to himself and told him to come to bed soon not wanting to cause any forced stress or remove him from his calm state. Once she was gone, The Doctor looked towards the diary and sighed throwing aside the newspaper and picking up the book. He guessed it couldn't hurt to try.

 

* * *

 

 

It was perhaps 5am when Clara felt the bed dip. But not in the way she'd wanted. A hand grabbed her shoulder and shook her worryingly.

"Clara...Clara, wake up we need to leave..."

She rolled over and sat up, the TimeLord looks distraught and furious at the same time.

"Bad dream?" she asked reaching for his hand only to see the phone held tightly in his grip.

"Worse...........she's back"

"Who?"

The Doctor turned for the door snapping the light on and she noticed he was fully dressed.

"Missy"

 

 

The Doctor rambled on about what Kate had said on the phone while she rushed to dress. A U.N.I.T car was on its way to take them to the HQ.

"How...we left her on Skaro how the hell did she escape a collapsing building?" Clara growled pissed off that the women had to appear at this time. The Doctor was in unsteady state of mind and still weak from his surgery this was no time to go gallivanting across Earth to deal with this insane woman's bull crap.

"I have no idea, all these years I've known her I've never known how the hell she gets out of these situations, she's as bad as Davros!" he snapped running a hand through his hair and Clara instantly calmed down. It wouldn't be good to get him riled up. He needed to be calm.

"Okay...got your coat?" she asked quieter, her tone more school teacher now than before like dealing with an upset young boy then a fully grown man.

"It's by the door"

 

They left in silence, got in the jeep in silence and entered the U.N.I.T  HQ in silence. All the time Clara held his hand hoping to keep him grounded.

Kate and Osgood were standing by a huge screen when they arrived.

"You received a message from someone calling themselves the Shadow Architect...she said her message was for you and your ears only..." Osgood spoke nervously as the Doctor stepped up to the screen and pressed the play button on the holo screen.

_"This is a message for the one known as The Doctor....your ally and enemy The Mistress as she is now known is currently been man hunted across the universe. The Human's inform me you have been incarcerated on Earth due to failing to abide a law of their own. I advise you decide quickly on how we deal with your brethren Doctor, she is no longer controllable and already wanted for the states of two mass planet genocides...."_

The rest of the message faded to his ears. While the other's listened on in shock and horror,  he zoned out.

_"We are unable to contact Gallifrey for a decision, on their own behalf, I advise you contact her or your people soon before it is too late..."_

Osgood began to talk again as the message ended, talking about the images and coordinates  that the Judoon had sent across.

The Doctor turned away and stalked towards the nearest wall.

Clara approached him carefully like a wounded animal.

"Doctor...we can handle this, all we have to do is lure her here right?"

"God's no! It's way too risky, she could blow up the whole of London!" Kate barked as the two began to argue over the course of action The Doctor became more and more aggravated.

_"One, Two, Three Four Five, oh looky here nobodies left alive......."_

The child's tone of a young master rang through his ears, that night in the forest when he'd found him amongst a mass of dead creatures, each one of them with their throats slit.

Why did his hand hurt?

They'd stopped arguing now and he could hear himself panting.

Opening his eyes he looked down to see his knuckles split, he was bleeding and a rather impressive hole in the concrete bunker wall.

Turning he set his anger on the nearest body. Kate.

"This...is all YOUR FAULT!"

"IF YOU HADN'T BEEN SO JUVINILLE AS TOO LOCK ME HERE WITHOUT MY SHIP I COULD HAVE BEEN WARNED ABOUT THIS BEFORE MISSY EVEN HAD THE CHANCE TO KILL ONE BEING" he was shouting so hard the blood was rushing to his face and Clara feared for another bleed.

"Doctor, there was no other notice, we only got that mess-!" Kate blurted frantic to calm him.

"AFTER SHE'S STARTED KILLING! THE JUDOON WOULD HAVE BEEN CONTACTING ME FROM THE SECOND SHE WAS SIGHTED, SHE'S WANTED ACROSS THE UNIVERSE FOR RASSILON'S SAKE SHE JUST SLAUGHTER A HUNDRED MILLION DALEKS!"

"and that's a bad thing?" was probably the wrong response as the Doctor leap towards her furious beyond control and he slammed them both into the opposite wall knocking over the desk in the process.

Before he knew it 2 U.N.I.T guards and Clara had him pinned on his back to the floor, guns pressed into his neck and Osgood and another guard rushing to lift Kate from the mess. Thankfully just in shock and sore but unharmed.

"Da-LET GO OF ME" he growled fighting the men's hold with everything in him.

"Doctor! Please, JUST BREATH" Clara cried trying to bring him back to himself.

Tear's welled in her eyes as she watched one of the guards roll him over thick cuff's and chain in his hands fighting to restrain the TimeLord.

She stood aside as Kate pulled her away and watched as he began to scream and yell in pain and anger, the stitches on his head which were almost healed swelling and blood began to seep through.

As he was dragged bodily away by 5 U.N.I.T guards he called into the corridor.

"YOU'LL NEVER LEARN! YOU HUMANS WOULDN'T LEARN EVEN WHEN KARMA BITES YOU, SHE'LL KILL YOU ALL, AND FOR ONCE I'LL LET HER"

The minute his voice went dull in the distance, Clara spoke up. "He didn't mean that...that's not The Doctor"

Osgood reminded quite unsure what to say at all.

Kate glanced herself over again silently thankfully he'd not been in any physical state to really harm her. "I know...but he is right...this is our fault"

"It's nobody's fault we-" Clara tried but Kate cut her short.

"We locked him away from the Universe....he's the saviors of hundreds of planets and literally the only thing between life and death for us when were being invaded...it's completely our fault, we put the lives of two human's above the billion's of other worlds out there. But he is wrong about one thing. We do learn and I think that display was the lesson, this is no longer a game of cat and mouse, he's become a caged lion and we learn that here and now. The Doctor is gone. Right now we have two insane Gallifreyans to deal with"


	8. Where Do We Go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor is in need of a friend. But the one he gets isn't the one he was hoping for.  
> Clara is growing distant and the TimeLord fears he's ruined his chances for a happy ending. Is he going to see sense and fight for his love or will he tumble further down the rabbit hole holding the hand of other women until he finds himself left as a criminal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, First, I'm so sorry this is late I should have had this up over two months ago but OMG real life has just been a pain in the A!   
> Secondly, Hurray I got this finished! But it was only quickly betaed and edited so I'm not overly sure if theirs any mistakes. If you do spot something massive can you let me know and ill try fix it in the next update yeah?

 

Wednesday. Darkness.

Paranoia.

Daylight. Guards. Pills?

"Get AWAY from me!"

 

Darkness once more.

It must have been a month by now. A year. Years? oh of course not. It had been exactly 11 days 6 hours and 38..39 minutes.

Give or take a day or two. His body clock was hiccupping under the effects of the sedatives. They must be double dousing him with elephant tranquilisers if he's feeling the need to sleep so much.

He'd had a few visits from Clara. One from Osgood if he recalled. Kate had come to the cell door once or twice he can't be sure but never inside. He'd always been half asleep and unable to talk. Clara spent most of her time with him read him books from the Tardis. Osgood came and spoke to him about how they were contacting The Mistress that they had told her about 'his' situation and that she'd demanded to be kept up to date with his medical records. She hadn't understood why the Mistress would have been at all bothered but she seemed serious to the point of threatening to disembowel one of them if she was late with any updates.

He knew why. Because if he topped himself or someone killed him she'd have lost her chance to win their 'little' game.

Who can kill the other first. Issue is, she knows he wouldn't ever harm her. Well, unless she killed someone he loved. That time she almost killed Clara via Dalek was borderline unforgivable yet he let her go. He'd let her run away, why? well the chance just seemed to easy. He wanted a hard fight. He wanted the reason for him to ever kill her to have been genuinely worth it.

Or...she could actually have had a slight change of heart. Ever since that little episode with Rassilon...the diamond.

They'd learned that the only difference they had, were only the grudges they had against each other.

They stood on the same ground versus their own kind.

He smiled to himself. She'd scream the place down to learn that he'd become president of Gallifrey.

He'd rather be there now to be honest. At least time would be normal and not so...slow. But oh boy would his mother be mad. Damn. Now he really did want to go home.

 

* * *

 

 

It was a further 2 days before he was conscious enough to know what was going on.

It wasn't good news.

Missy had been captured by the Judoon having apparently turned herself in under a U.N.I.T  agreement to have her brought here to earth for holding.

Clara had apparently had a great night out with some friends during the week and met some lad called Peter. He was sweet, dark hair, blue eyes, several years old than herself. Made her laugh. The Doctor saw this even worse than hearing Missy was on her way here. Clara had told the man she had a boyfriend but recently The Doctor had felt less like the man she loved. In fact apart from a few hugs and the odd quick kiss before she left she didn't seem interested in him.

He guessed it was because he needed to be calm, trying to balance a relationship whilst he was so unstable would probably make things worse but he couldn't help but feel this was falling apart sooner than he liked.

Lastly was the big punch. The KO. Because of his car accident and his recent outbreak of 'temporary' insanity the judge who had original fined him to his house arrest decided to extend his arrest. 14 days. That made his final 23 days back in 37. As if the last 11 days hadn't even happened. As if time hadn't moved.

He wanted to scream.

He did.

He punched a guard. Broken the other's arm. Kick a dent in the door and then found himself tied to his bed and sedated once more.

 

* * *

 

 

It was 2 days later that he awoke in a different room. This one was larger, whiter. Medical. The steady beat of a machine to his right made his eyes twitch and finally open fully.

Someone was in there with him. He had wires on his chest. A tube under the skin in each arm. The beeping he realized was from a set of heart monitors he was attached too.

The whole place smelt like a hospital. He tried to move an arm and found his right arm was handcuffed to the railing.

"Hello"

The voice sounded from his left. It wasn't Clara, he was sure.

Dark hair came into view.

It took a few seconds for his eyes to focus but eventually his eyes fell on the occupant of the huge leather chair beside his bed.

Missy.

 

* * *

 

"What are you doing here?" was the first thing he tried to croak out. His throat dry as a bone from days of disuse.

"Well, someone's grumpy" she rolled her eyes.

Missy stood slowly reaching for a glass of water and leaned over him pressing a button on the bed to sit him up. The look on her face was something he hadn't seen for centuries. Genuine concern.

"Here to look after you, you fool" she smirked before shushing him and holding the glass forward so he could drink.

He gulped the water greedily almost finishing the glass and sighed as his body thanked him for it.

Licking his lips he pondered a better question. His head was so fuzzy. His body felt light and numb.

"I mean...in here, why with me?"

Missy set the glass aside and leaned over to read something from one of his heart monitors.

"Because I'm the only being on the planet other than yourself with sufficient knowledge about Gallifreyan biology, AND unlike you I actually have medical training!"  she picked up the clipboard attached to his bed and noted something on it.

The Doctor snorted. "First aid is hardly training"

"It's more than you know, anyway unlike you would know I did further studies whilst I was here on earth, I have a PHD in human biology and somewhat the equivalent in Gallifreyan biology and medicine, I'm no surgeon far from it but I'm the only thing between you and regeneration right now"

The Doctor blinked somewhere between peeved and shocked.

"As for why I'm in here...this whole room is Time Lord-Proofed according to that girl with the scarf...they built it for me. I'm honoured and offended, yet this is now your medical bay too, they've given you so many sedatives that your immune system is learning how to combat it all, apparently the drugs are wearing off too quickly now and they'd soon be giving you too much that it WILL kill you"

"They might as well, would be easier on all of us"

"Oh shush, dying will help nobody here, it won't help this little toy planet of yours and nor will it do any good for Clara, poor things worried herself sick..."

Clara. Sick?

"Wha-"

"Kate's had to get her some prescription medication for sleeping, suffering from insomnia and depression...all over stupid old you"

Now he felt bad. He felt worse. His right heart suddenly spiked and he gasped. It burnt horribly like someone had just torched his chest in gasoline.

Missy was quick to the monitor tapping something in before she pulled open a drawer and injected something into the tube in his right hand.

The beeping slowed and he panted as the pain ebbed away.

He stayed silent for a good few minutes after that just watching the Mistress noting on his charts changing his doses of whatever drugs they had him on no doubt.

He looked up to notice an array of drip bags above him. He counted seventeen. Two of them fluid bags. The largest one was a bag of blood with a date and his name on. He didn't recall giving them samples of his blood.

Then again, he couldn't remember a lot.

"Your blood pressure went through the roof while you were in the cell a few days ago, you injured two guards and went for another, you caused yourself to have double heart attack, ruptured your aorta in your left heart, and theirs damage to the right atrium in both...you're going to feel sore for awhile, they had to rush you into do surgery but thankfully they were fast enough to save your before you did regenerate on them. Until they let you out of here you're going to have to take everything carefully, another heart attack might cause irreparable damage and you're going to run through this body before its had a decent go" Missy spoke slowly, as if she was intrigued about the events but something in her eyes told him she was just a little angry.

"I think it's done enough" he grunted back and Missy just shook her head.

"A new body doesn't fix your mind...you're don't get a new YOU. Even if you regenerate now, you'll still be depressed, still sore, still weak as hell and still suffering from paranoia and temporary insanity"

The Doctor reached up to scratch at his chin, feeling the thick beard that now covered the lower half of his jaw.

"How long has been?"

"Counting today...13 days...2 weeks tomorrow"

Missy reached up to stroke the beard herself and smiled. "You look good with a beard, mind you not as good as I did"

The Doctor smirked. "I have to agree I did like that body"

Missy gave him a cheeky eye before smirking back.

"I always preferred that body of yours, always admired your hair" she reached up to run her fingers through the thick silver curls that were slowly overgrowing now. She frowned in thought.

"You could do with cleaning up, shower, shave and hair cut wouldn't go amiss"

"I-I'm fine" he muttered feeling just too weak to try and move to do such tedious human things.

"Maybe for today but tomorrow I'm getting you cleaned up and were going to talk"

The Doctor huffed. "Why bother? Shouldn't you be glad that I've lost it? That I'm easier to convince to stab someone or blow something up? Why do you think I should trust you just because you think dragging me back from a heart attack was a good idea...what is it your after eh? Have the new president under your thumb and letting you get away with whatever you want is that it? You want exemption from your own planet killing you again? Then you got it. Feel free to go kill yourself!"

Missy casually sipped at the tea beside her letting him rant. He was stressed out and his heart monitors were jumping all over the place again.

As he continued to rant about their universal personal issues, she stood and began to re-note the stats. when he didn't seem close to shutting up she turned and smacked him sharply across the face.

"Are you done? Can you calm down now or do I need to sedate you until you realise that right now the only concern you should have is for your own health and that of the silly little human girl that's spent the past fortnight crying over a daft old man in his stolen time machine who doesn't know when to shut up and think for his own good!"

The Doctor gawped but stayed silent.

"Anyway, why shouldn't I care? As far as I'm concerned you're the only other member of Gallifrey that's even worth being friends with..."

"I wouldn't call us friends..." The Doctor sighed.

"Allies or whatever then...Theta..." she whispered his name with a hint of sadness or at least the name he'd told her. His dark look made her scowl back.

"It stopped. I can't hear anything anymore. I've changed. I'm changing. Maybe I won't change completely...but give me a chance to show you that...that old me...that one in the scrap yard, is long dead..."

The Doctor look slightly scared. Missy felt sad that she should be proud of that but all it did was make her feel more alone than ever before.

"You're supposed to hate me..."

"I don't hate you...and you don't hate me..." she sat back down and picked up a book he suddenly spotted that had been discarded.

"Go back to sleep I'll wake you up for dinner..."

 

* * *

 

 

He hadn't planned on falling asleep. But the steady beeping of the monitors eventually lulled him back off to sleep and before he knew it he was waking up to the sound of clinking and 3 different voices.

Kate?

That second one was Missy.

The inhaler was defiantly Osgood.

Opening his eyes. He found them all standing at the end of his bed, quietly discussing something to do with the drugs he was on. Missy, he noticed was wearing the short sleeved white blouse and a black knee-length skirt, her hair in a bun with a pair of slim silver frame glass perched on her nose. It reminded him of a school teacher. In fact ,she even looked a bit...motherly.

He then noticed the tray on the table, two large covered dishes and cutlery, mugs and steaming pot of tea. Oh, it must be dinner time. Though really he didn't feel like eating.

"Hello"

He blinked and looked back to the three women in the room Kate was smiling down at him from the foot of the bed hugging a clipboard to her chest.

He tried a smile back.

"How are you feeling?" Osgood asked coming closer to sit beside him on the bed.

She was wearing that scarf again. That definitely made him smile. It was nice to see that thing find a good owner.

"Tired" he replied dryly before coughing. Missy moved to get him some water.

"You're going to feel bad for a few days yet Doctor, not many people bounce back for open heart surgery quickly" Kate replied picking up his charts and nodding at the notes Missy had been making.

"Do you want to double his painkillers?" she asked the Time Lady.

Missy shook her head as she feed The Doctor the water. "Not yet, he's sleeping well enough for now, if he feels anything when I get him up tomorrow then I'll give him a short dose but I don't want to risk messing up the data, if it's too high we could miss him feeling any blockages or cramping"

Kate just nodded and put the board back.

"Okay well we'll leave you to your dinner, I'll be in the office in your want anything" she waved at Osgood to follow and the pair left silently leaving him alone again with The Mistress.

He wondered about Clara. He hadn't seen her for a while.

"She was here earlier but you were fast asleep and she didn't want to wake you"

The Doctor looked towards her confused. "Stop reading my mind"

Missy chuckled. "Stop thinking out loud!"  she said as she added milk into his tea.

He watched as she sat him up, moved the sheets, uncuffed his hand and sat beside him on the bed holding a bowl of yogurt and apple pie.

He turned his head away as she went to feed him.

"Oh come now, you need to eat whether you feel like it or not, you're growing too weak just cope on glucose supplements"

He looked back at the bowl and sighed before letting her start feeding him. He realized after a few mouthfuls he was actually hungry. His stomach must have just been asleep. Eventually he was holding the bowl and feeding himself a second helping as Missy munched her Chicken Club sandwich.

He loved yogurt and it went well with apple pie!

After washing it down with a cup of tea, Missy offered him a deal. If she told him how she escaped Skaro then he had to tell her about the nightmares.

He was hesitant at first, he didn't want to admit to his dreams, the paranoia. the overall fact he'd driven himself mad. But something about her worry had him on edge. This must be getting bad. Worse than bad if he was honest.

Her story surprised him. The fact she managed to do such a thing had him perplexed.

But before it came to his turn to talk she ushered him to sit up properly and brought a warm bowel of water to the table.

He watched her as she set down kit to shave him.

"I thought you were going to do this tomorrow"

"It is tomorrow" she smirked and The Doctor looked confused.

"You woke late last night, it's now after 5 the next day Doctor"

He closed his eyes and sighed, he'd lost complete track of time now.

He lent his head back and remained still as she set about shaving off the heavy looking beard. The feeling of her fingers on his jaw and gentle way she moved the blade had him falling sleeping in no time.

When he woke again she was back to reading her book.

He reached up to find the beard gone and his hair rather a lot shorter.

"Feel up to some more food and shower?" she asked as she spotted him moving.

The Doctor blinked before nodding. A cup of tea and some scrambled egg later she was helping him up, testing the strength in his legs before leading him into the ensuite bathroom and sitting him down in the huge cubicle shower room. It was only now that he noticed he was wearing nothing but his boxers. The realisation he was almost naked and some alone with an ex psychopathic time lady set of some alarm bells and he was back to watching her every move as she set about sorting towels, wet cloths and surgical soaps.

Kate mentioned open heart surgery.

He wondered how on earth they would do that without...he cried out loudly as he looked down at himself and touched at the huge red scar that lined his toned and now hairless chest. They'd cut him open, like, like some animal!

Fear invaded his mind far before rational thought and he began to hyperventilate. Why did it hurt to breath?

Missy quickly stepped back into the cubicle at the sound and rolled her eyes at the sight of the time Lord having a very human panic attack.

_I'm going mad...._

"Doctor calm down..."

She took the hand he was holding to his chest.

"Come now, you know there's no need to be so silly...your perfectly safe"

He continued to stare at the scar his mind reeling with every possible scenario. What if they had been trying to kill him? What if Osgood was that Zygon? What if she'd given him something, she was the last person he saw before that night...

"DOCTOR"

He snapped back to Missy's sharp tone and looked up to her sad face.

"How else would they have gotten to your hearts?"

Now that he thought about it. She was right.

"Theta...your fine, stop over thinking this and deal with the stupid humans, you know you can handle this, we've both handled worse, you can't go mad over this custard cream of species!"

 He relaxed as she moved away and turned on the shower.

"Pudding brains"

"What?" She wasn't expecting that.

"Their pudding brains" he repeated looking to her slowly, dazed.

_I'm going mad...._

Missy smiled. "Now that's the Doctor I know"

 

 

* * *

 

If he'd of been in his right mind, he would have hated the idea of Missy seeing this body naked. In fact seeing him naked at all, let alone washing him, re dressing him, leading him back to his bed.

But he was weak.

He was fighting to focus his mind at all let alone demand it to lift his arm, to hold a cup. He'd never felt this bad. This ill.

What had they given him?

_I'm going mad..._

Missy shot down all his theories about reactions of the drugs. Her explanation was his own fault.

He'd locked himself up. The paranoia has torn his self esteem to shreds. He'd pushed rational thoughts aside allowing his fears to take charge and he'd not yet recovered from the aneurism that had impaired his frontal lobe momentarily. In truth his body had just stopped.

"Your half comatose, if you fancy that...your brains failing to talk to your body so you just stop, your mind can't recover from one thing before being faced with something else so it's shut down, tried to reboot, baby steps dear Doctor, you're going to have to take this one day at a time or you'll be trapped her for longer than I'm sure you want to be"

Another good night of sleep and a strong breakfast Missy ushered him up and out into balcony for some air. They sat talking for quite some time, about the academy, Rassilon, the grandkids...

"You know, ever since I've been here, I wondered if..." he paused trying to find his own emotional strength. "I wondered if Susan's son was still alive"

Missy tilted her head pondering. "She lived here?"

"Yes, stayed her, had a family..."

"hmm...Have you looked?"

The Doctor frowned. "How?"

"I mean the name? Have you bothered to look up her name...I recall you speaking of an Alex...if Alex was her son you should be able to find someone or some evidence of his birth records here on earth, have you not asked Kate?" she asked carefully. Family was a touchy subject even for her.

The Doctor shook his head. "Didn't think too"

Why didn't he think to ask? He should have.

Missy let it drop there. She wasn't about to get dragged into hunting down the idiots great grandson if he was even still alive.

 

Clara came by that evening. Missy had been out of the room for a good hour in a meeting with the heads of U.N.I.T.

Clara told him it was about her arrest. He guessed he should be expecting the worst when they finally agreed. Missy would rather kill 30 men before submitting to being jailed up.

She sat beside him on the bed, holding his hand. Talking about school, that her Year 8's had just finished their exams and GCSE's would be next on the cards to prepare for.

She showed him some of the textbooks and talked about the book her year 9's were doing their latest paper on.  Romeo and Juliet.

"You know this story makes me think of you..." she muttered out loud as she noted something on one of the worksheets.

The Doctor looked up from the colouring book she'd brought him.

"My Romeo..." she giggled, the sound made him smile properly for the first time in weeks.

"If I'm your Romeo that would make you Juliet..." he replied with a smirk as she leant across to kiss him softly.

Damn he loved his little human. His girlfriend. His soon-to-be much more if he gets chance.

"Kate's fighting your case on all fronts, you know...even after the extension she's trying to convince another judge to lessen it, give you parole, let you come back to live with me till you feel fit enough to leave..."

He liked that idea. But he was still here for 34 days...

"How much longer do they plan on keeping me here?" He asked looking about the sparse room, apart from his bed, a spare bed for Missy, the chair by his bed and a small table and chairs on the balcony and the bathroom it was bland.

"Until you can pass a Physiological and Physical exam according to Osgood, they don't want to give you freedom to have you get yourself killed stupidly because you couldn't feel your hand for a second..."

"They think I'm insane..."

"Nooo, they don't..."

"Do you?"

"No! Doctor, your heavily depressed and your ill, you need to recover, you'll be back decorating our flat in no time...Missy said you should be physically fit in another 3 or so nights if you can get to walking about..."

"And you believe her?"

"Yes!, Doc-Why shouldn't I? All she's done since she's arrived is demanded control on how we care for you, she demanded this room being built, she sat in the medical theatre with the surgeons for over nine hours directing them while they repaired your Aorta and all she's done is sit in here with you and watch over you, she's not left the U.N.I.T HQ since she was brought here, she has no care for anyone but you...I know who she is, I've seen what she's down you've told me enough tales for me to be on my guard but right now, she really is all we have in protecting you-"

"From what? Myself?"

"Yes, you're on earth, there is nothing here but your own mind that's dangerous right now"

Ouch. That was a low blow. He was more dangerous than Missy.

Clara saw the change in his face and tried to reel back.

"Don't take that the wrong way, you know I mea-"

"I doesn't matter..."

"Doctor please...Just get better, then we can go back to normal. We can go back to making dinner, go back to picking pain colours, go back to finishing your TV box sets and then get back to the universe..."

It was getting late. He got another kiss but she didn't say 'it'.

Missy came back not long after, she began to rant about Kate, then on about Clara how she was talking about his 'dietary needs'  and she ranted on about why wouldn't she know what he needs, she's known him far longer than some stupid human piece of skirt. The fact they'd been fighting made him feel sad. The women he loved and his closest friend couldn't get along.

Missy noticed his silence and fell quiet herself.

"What did she say?" she asked with a hint of venom her eyes flashed a madness he recognised, a protectiveness.

"Nothing..."

"Doctor..."

"She said my mind was the only thing that was dangerous...that..." he couldn't get his own mind around it.

_I'm going mad..._

"Your fine, You're going to be fine, these human's are insane if they think they're going to keep you confined in here, I'll kidnap you myself if I have too, I know where the TARDIS is even..." she smirked.

He found himself smirking back before gasping as his hearts cramped the speeding beat of the monitors made him panic as Missy came around the bed to open a drawer before laying him down.

_Clara..._

The right one cramped before stopping suddenly and he screamed.

"Theta..breath normally, focus..."

_I love you..._

The right restarted after Missy gave him one of the drugs but then both hearts skipped a beat before falling out of sync. He was loosing consciousness.

Missy tapped the monitor again before giving him another syringe full of whatever drug she was using to slow his hearts.

"Theta, focus on me...look at me..."

He forced his eyes open as she took the hand he'd being clutching at his chest with, holding it tight in her smaller ones.

"Theta, breath...it's okay...forget her, focus on me...

_How did she know..._

His eyes filled with tears as the pain ebbed away to an ache in his chest.

"She...she doesn't..."

"you know human's can't...at least not like we do..." Missy just shrugged. She could offer no comfort here where love was concerned. Damn that companion.

He whimpered against the pain in his hearts, the really physical pain and the pain of knowing his relationship maybe over just as soon as it's started...

He wanted to sleep. He needed to sleep. More painkillers did little to ease his mind.

"Talk to me..."

The Doctor let his head loll towards the Time Lady beside him.

"Tell me about those dreams Doctor..."

He looked back to the stark white ceiling he tried to picture galaxies, comets, black holes but nothing came.

"Where do we start?" he asked tightly, emotion still thick in his voice.

"Where ever you want" she replied with a sigh.

 

So he did.

 

"It always starts in the barn...There's always someone behind me, someone under the bed, someone following me, when I leave, they tell me the same thing over and over, they say, I've already gone mad...-"


	9. Chapter 8.5 - The Sound Of Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A small interlude of what's to come...Can you really escape? 
> 
> Tick tock goes the clock, even for our Time Lord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 is due in about another fortnight. I decided to revamp part of the plot so it's not finished but bare with me. You'll love it!

_I'm going mad..._

His physical recovery had been progressive over the last 72 hours.  But his mental state began to crumble further.

His worries over Clara and what they were planning to do to his only species relation he still talked to had caused a horrible blur in his dreams.

As the court's argued what to do with Missy, The Doctor was left to decipher his dreams and reality.

One minute he found himself awake and pacing. The next he'd awoken in Clara's flat, someone following him into every room but every time he turned around, they were gone.

Someone knocking on the door. Four times. But only space and stars and planet greeted him when he opened the door. Closing it to find he was in the TARDIS and the memory that he hadn't seen Clara in a week. He should visit. It was Wednesday.

He'd awake screaming back in the hospital ward with unknown nurses running around him telling him to breathe and telling him they didn't know who 'The Mistress' or 'Missy' was.

He'd been demanding her for the past day, frightened that she'd never been there in the first place. Had he dreamt that? The conversation...

The fact that none of the guards outside the glass door listened to his cries or his demands for Kate or Osgood, worried him that they weren't real. Perhaps the hospital was the dream and he was really in Clara's flat, drunk as hell and dreaming this all up.

Not thinking that the glass was soundproof and they genuinely just couldn't hear him.

An incident with a broken glass and his hand gained attention. Kate was in the room finally and he begged her with nonsense about her father, about Missy planning an escape, that she needed to kill him.

_I'm going mad..._

Kate tried hard to calm the TimeLord before she had no choice but to sedate him. Left to call the A.H.C (Alien Holding Centre) and ask for Subject 666 or Missy's return to the Doctor's room. But the judges were adamant that until her arrest was agreed on she wasn't allowed back beside him for fear they could co inside a plot of escape. She found it just as frustrating as Clara.

The poor lass had been so lost without him around that one of her workmate's, a geography teacher had begun to hang around her, escorting her to the hospital although never coming in, even staying at her flat, having dinners. They got along well apparently. He was under the guise that she was still depressed after Danny. Kate was hoping to hell he wasn't trying to date her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the final 24 of the last 72 hours passed without hitch, Kate knew hell was about to break loose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As the overhead siren began she could have sworn her own heart stopped.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**"CODE RED - I REPEAT CODE RED - PATIENT IS AWOL - I REPEAT PATIENT IS AWOL - THE DOCTOR HAS ESCAPED THE BUILDING.**

**CODE RED- THE DOCTOR HAS ESCAPED THE BUILDING"**

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Rip Me To Pieces and Runaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor's gone AWOL. Clara's gone on a school trip. There's a mysterious guy in her flat and Missy is about to face her earthbound arrest warrant. The Universe can be cruel sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long to update. I deleted like half the chapter and re-wrote the damn thing because it went AWOL itself. Hopefully, this sounds better. 
> 
> One chapter and the epilogue left. I hope you've enjoyed the ride.

11.34am

They'd been searching London since 9pm the previous day. He was gone. How on earth the Time Lord had just vanished into thin air was beyond everyone.

There hadn't been a single sighting. Not one person in this massive city could say they had seen a 50-year-old plus grey haired male in a white set of hospital scrubs. Kate couldn't believe it.

She began to think up all the horrible situations he could have landed himself in as she stood guard at the otter pool at the Zoo. They'd agreed to spread out after the manhunt went quite. She was here, Osgood was at Clara's flat with Clara. They had U.N.I.T guards spread out over all three U.N.I.T bunkers and Missy...was sat in the TARDIS trying use the ship to locate the idiot.

She'd taken the whole "The Doctor's made a run for it" thing quite well. She'd only killed 4 guards wounded 2 more and a nurse. Kate was glad Missy had calmed the second she arrived or else she probably would have been dead too.

When the courts got a whiff that the TimeLord was missing they let Missy free but not without some grumbling.

The Time Lady had taken charge of the search with style, Kate had to admit. As insane and dangerous as Missy was, she was just as brilliant as The Doctor when she needed to be. She'd never forgive Missy for the Cybermen incident and her father. But Kate started to understand The Doctor when he said Missy couldn't help herself. She'd been brainwashed and resurrected into a weapon for war and sadly that would be hard to let go of.

Didn't stop Kate wanting to kill the woman though.

Suddenly her radio crackled to life.

"Blondey...I have sighting...over!" Missy called through the radio.

Kate tutted and rolled her eyes. "Go ahead Mistress...over"

"The TARDIS last picked up his heat signature around Buckingham Palace, I hacked the CCTV, I spotted him making towards the gates at about 7 this morning, dressed in a tuxedo, he must have stolen it...over" The Mistress pressed another button and cursed.

"I'll send cars down there now...over" Kate replied as she turned jogging towards her own car.

Buckingham Palace? What on earth would he go there for?

 

* * *

 

30 soldiers. 19 cars. 16 police officers and half the Queen guards later the Palace had been shutdown and they were planning to hunt down the awol TimeLord.

"What in the name of my mother are you doing here Ms Stewart?"

Kate turned and bowed in union with the guards beside her as Prince Charles slowly approached flanked by more guards.

"Your Majesty, we are sorry for the intrusion, but we have a con-convicted patient issue" she choked on the word. The Doctor was hurt, sick and terribly confused. He needed help not judgement alas he had been in capture and it was the only truthful description at the time.

"And that requires you storming the Palace?" he enquired confused

"We have clear evidence Your Majesty that he might have entered the building very early this morning" she offered gently trying not to offer too much insight.

"Impossible...the guards are on rota 24 hours a day, there are cameras everywhere, the alarms would have sounded if he'd entered through a previously locked door" he scoffed folding his arms in annoyance.

Osgood decided to save her Boss as she watched Kate fight for words.

"Sir, we think someone let him in. We believe he knows someone here and they gave him access to the building" She muttered shuffling in place as he rested his cold eyes on her.

The Prince sighed. "Fine, search the place, but for the love of your jobs do not disturb Mother, she's fragile these days"

With that he turned on heel back to his offices, guards in tow.

"What?" Kate said once he was out of sight.

Osgood blinked at her confused as they made eye contact.

"What do you mean knows someone?" She asked again and Osgood smiled.

"Oh, Missy told me The Doctor used to be good friends with a lot of our royals when he was younger,  there must be at least one of the butlers here that knows of him"

Kate huffed and looked up and down the hall wondering how to start they couldn't just have guards enter every room, they'd risk disturbing members of the family.

"Prince William has taken his wife and children to the Gardens at the far end of the Palace 'mam,  Only her Majesty and his royal Highness are still inside the building" one of the Guards offered seeing her concern.

"Charles went to his office yes? Where is the Queen currently..." she asked and another guard spoke up.

"In the Throne room with council, we have her guards at the door and inside"

 

"Then spread out, search the corridors, but quietly, radio in anything that is suspicious" Kate said as he and Osgood started one way and the others split down the crossing corridors.

Over an hour later and nothing.

"Mistress, we have no sighting, over" Kate radioed to the Time Lady.

"He must be in one of the rooms... you have 46 bodies marked on here as UNIT and 31 marked as the Queen's guard's, that inside the Palace alone,  I'm reading over 100 life signals, collect the staff up, move them so we can clear the second floor rooms!" she barked becoming more anxious that the TimeLord had misled them.

Kate radioed the message ahead and watched over the collection of the staff.

Nothing.

The second they'd officially counted 102 life signals, Missy realised something.  The only place with 8 life signals left. The Throne room. She directed the TARDIS to try and narrow the signal to her thief.

"He's in there" Missy sighed into the radio as she walked around the console.

"He can't be in there surely" Kate said turning and making for the huge golden doors that were still blocked by the Queen's guards.

She turned to the closest one.

"When is her Majesty due to leave her council?"

The guard lifted an arm to read his watch before standing straight again. "About now 'mam"

Just as Kate turned to make back to Osgood, the doors began to open and out filtered a few of the Lords from the house.

Kate spotted 4 notable names, 2 she was unsure of and the Queen and gasped as she spotted him.

The Doctor walking beside Queen Elizabeth. She was laughing. Smiling away at something he'd said.

He looked fine. In fact, he'd not looked this good since they started his house arrest.

 

Osgood took the look Kate gave her as an order to move the security out and she jogged towards the main doors. Kate stood silently as the Lords passed her, the guards swapped place and Prince Charles arrived in the hall from his office.

The Queen turned and spotted Kate then turned to her son confused. The Doctor spotted the women's confusion and turned to look himself then sighed.

"Charles? What on earth is U.N.I.T here for?" she asked turning back to The Doctor as he stepped back to bow to her.

"There here for me your majesty, I'm afraid I may have broken protocol and I must make back to work" he smiled.

The Queen blinked unsure of all the commotion she seemed to have missed but forgot it instantly as she reached up and neatened the Time Lords lapel.

"Then you better go back to saving the universe Doctor, It's been nice to see you again" she laughed.

The goodbyes were short and Kate reached a hand to the Doctor's taking it firmly as they walked away from the Royals in the background.

"Did you climb the side of the building and wake the Queen to let you in?" she asked casually as if it was perfectly normal.

"No..." he lied making Kate glare at him.

"Okay, yes...look yesterday was her birthday right, I've NEVER missed Elizabeth's birthday ever since she was a baby Kate, I was always beside her, she made me promise I would always protect her family and be there and I wasn't about to let human's stop me" he hissed.

Kate let go of his hand when they got to a U.N.I.T car.

"Missy is seriously pissed with you" she offered the radio.

The Doctor just folded his arms so Kate opened the car door and he settled himself in the backseat.

 The ride back was silent, mostly because the Time Lord had fallen asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

"Your an idiot" Missy huffed as she ran a scanner over his bare chest.

The second they had returned to U.N.I.T Missy had yanked the car door open and marched the lightheaded TimeLord into the TARDIS medical bay.

"I know" he muttered from his position sat on the bed.

When the computer beeped Missy dropped the scanner aside. "It's clear, no clots and your blood pressure is fine, blood sugar on the hand is not, come on you need to eat" she sighed standing.

"I'm not hungry" he complained and Missy turned giving him a sharp almost motherly look.

"I have no care for that, you'll start hallucinating again if you don't eat, it's bad enough I'm bonkers, I don't need you to be as well!" she growled before storming from the room towards one of the kitchens.

"Like you care" The Doctor sighed to himself as he lay back shirtless against the soft sheets. He closed his eyes listening hard to the low hum of his ship. The moment he'd walked in he'd felt himself again.

Guilty, distraught, aching, happy, overwhelmed and content. Yep, Missy had been right he really was a mess.

He let his arm flop back till his hand grazed the wall behind him and he felt the TARDIS reach into his main soothing him. Telling him off for his actions. He laughed to himself. She'd love him no matter.

 

Clara.

He snapped back to reality quickly when he realised he'd not seen Clara. Had she given up on him? He'd been so ill recently he couldn't even recall if she'd visited him after the first time.

"Here you are, a cheese toasty and tomato soup, your favourite" Missy cooed as she re-entered carrying a tray.

His thoughts of Clara slipped aside as the smell awoke his hunger. He found his hands shaking too much to eat the soup very well, he ended up tolerating Missy feeding him for a while till his blood sugar levels rose enough that it ceased. Missy left him wired up in the medical bed to sleep afterwards while she was escorted back to her cell awaiting her arrest warrant.

When the Doctor awoke he was alone. He reached out for Missy's mind but she was too far away and he was still too tired to hold the link.

It took him awhile to shuffle from the bed and unclip all the wires monitoring his hearts BP rate. He padded to the wardrobe to dress before sitting in his chair in the console room.

The Tardis had been moved into his holding cell. He could wander around her as much as he wanted now. But she wouldn't let him leave the planet.

He fort to recall how much long her had left of this torment. He recalled them extending it. If hadn't run away he'd be free by now. 2 weeks before, that meant he had no more than 15 days. Well, that was unless the court furthered it again after his run to see the Queen.

He waited for anyone coming to check on him and dozed in the chair for a good 2 hours before he got bored. He wanted to see Clara.

His ship told him it was Saturday. She would be at home. Maybe he could ask Kate to drive him over now he wasn't so ill.

He felt so odd. So adrift, alone. His body felt heavy and his chest ached. But his head wasn't hurting. the fog of his nightmares and hallucinations from all the sedatives had finally worn off and he felt mentally more himself than he had in years.

It had been Summer when the euro happened, he assumed it was almost Autumn now. Clara would be free soon, school holidays. They could visit all sorts of places now. The idea made him smile and he punched her address into the screen absent-mindedly wondering if he could call her.

She didn't answer her mobile. He left a message.

He began to grow curious as he looks at the lever beside him, he couldn't leave the planet...but could he go to Clara?

He recalled Kate had said she'd made Missy lock the machines coordinates to Earth so he couldn't run away. He found with a few buttons pressing and a pull that the mistress had actually obeyed and the ship did little but growl at him from trying.

Typing back in Clara's address he sighed hard as he pulled on the lever.

He was surprised when he stumbled over at the motion,  the ship groaned and dematerialised.

He laughed loudly to himself, listening as it echoed through the console and the halls of the ship when he landed in Clara's flat. But the smile was wiped from his face when he realised Kate was probably already alerted of his move and flipping her shit.

He'd need to be quick. Get back before she sent a manhunt.

Stepping out of the door he glanced about the hall smiling at the finished paintwork. Clara had used a red instead of the light blue he'd planned but that didn't matter it still looked good.

"Clara?" he called pouting when she didn't come running at the sound of the ship.

When he got no reply he made for the kitchen only to be confronted by another male exiting it.

"Who the hell are you?!" the man snapped angrily at the intruder. The Doctor stepped back...had she moved out?

"The Doctor...I'm looking for Miss Oswald..." he muttered darkly not liking the glare the other male was burning into him.

"She doesn't need no Doctor mate, I suggest you buzz off" he growled reaching a hand out to push him away to the hallways again.

The Doctor grunted and straighten up. "Who the hell are you and what are you doing in her flat anyway!" he snapped back becoming defensive of his companion.

"Her boyfriend and none of your business, again if you don't mind GET OUT" he shouted now grabbing the TimeLord jacket

The Doctor pushed him back and took and swing at his jaw, punching the man hard enough that he stumbled backwards into the sofa.

"The fuck you are!" The Doctor yelled grabbing the bulky human and slamming him against the wall."Where's Miss Oswald?!"

The man head butt him viciously making him fall back and collapse against the hall table clutching his nose.

Before The Doctor could stand the man turned and rushed for the phone in the kitchen.

Struggling to his feet he pressed a hand to his chest, his hearts were burning. The pain drove him forward, his vision turning red at the picture he spotted on the table, the man with his arms around Clara.

Storming into the kitchen he grabbed a steak knife from the drying board by the sink as the man clutched at the phone asking for police.

_Humans...they all take...never give...they will always break your hearts Doctor. Just as they enjoy starting wars. You have to fight back. Killing one isn't a crime. Some are universal pests and you know it._

Missy's voice echoed in his mind as the man dropped the phone and charged for him. He went to strike out. But the Doctor moved first and a sickening squelch rang through the room as the man screamed out. The Doctor pulled his arm back confused before he drove the knife back into the man once more. He let go and watched the man slump to the floor moaning in pain as blood began to soak into the jumper he was wearing.

The Doctor looked down at his bloody hand as his rage faded and his hearts began to fall out of sync. 

"What ....did I-" he breathed raggedly to himself as the man tried to crawl for the phone.

Stepping over the useless human he made for the bathroom as his stomach upturned. He despised Missy for murder. He'd never killed by hand, at least not in cold blood.

"You always do this to me, you always bring out my worst" he growled at her memory as he staggered up from the floor to his ship. His legs gave out halfway and he sat on the floor of the hall panting and trying to remain conscious.

Kate.

He needed Kate.

Fumbling for his phone he hit speed dial.

"Where the hell are you?!" she snapped the second it picked up he could hear cars in the background she was outside.

"Clara's...I-can't...ahhh! Ka-Kate help it hurts!!!" he suddenly cried out as his chest cramped up and he almost dropped the mobile.

Kate's tone changed immediately. "Doctor, breathe! We're coming...stay on the phone!"

He dropped the phone aside after pressing speakerphone and closed his eyes fighting back the urge to vomit again.

When he reopened his eyes Kate was knelt in front of him, paramedics rushed past them. He guessed to attend to the man in the kitchen.

She'd been holding an oxygen mask to his face and pulled it away as he came round. She sighed and looked to the man the ambulance crew were lifting to a gurney.

"What happened?" she asked carefully not wanting to bring his blood pressure up again. It was already ridiculously high. But he did have two hearts.

"I wanted...to see Clara...he was...here" he said as if that explained everything.

"Christian Keeler, he's the school's new geography teacher, he was looking after the flat while Clara's on a school trip" she sighed lifting the mask back up over his face.

The Doctor blinked. Clara wasn't here. Oh.

"She has to keep going Doctor...you know that, she can't abandon her job" Kate offered seeing his hurt expression.

He nodded as she took away the mask again. "Is he okay?" he breathed trying to sit up better.

"He'll be fine...thankfully you missed any organs but the court won't be pleased when they hear you've attempted murder now" she huffed setting aside the mask to pick up his wrist and time his pulse.

"He said he was...her boyfriend"

Kate lost count and looked up to his greyed and saddened face. She shook her head. "I don't know why he had the balls to say that, Clara made it clear to me before she left they weren't dating. She doesn't want another human, Doctor...she's wanting you back"

She reached up to feel his forehead. "Your cold and sweating...we need to get you into medical" she sighed "I'll call Clara and find out when she returns for you"

She winced at the bruise that was darkening around his eye and nose.

"He head butted me" The Doctor explained sensing her question "I'd say I stabbed him in self-defence which is sort of true but I wasn't thinking clearly...I'm sorry"

Kate just nodded and helped him to his feet as a U.N.I.T guards took his arms and they half carried him out of the building and towards a car.

She followed behind slowly letting Osgood fall into step, she'd just opened her mouth to say she'd updated The Mistress when The Doctor broke from the guards and began running down the street.

Kate and the guards were left baffled for a moment how he'd gone from limp and weak to full speed running down the street tearing away from the police cars.

"DOCTOR!!" Kate shouted hoping he'd stop. Perhaps he was still delusional but when he gave no sign of listening the women jumped in the car and followed the chasing guards.

The school gates were only down here...he wasn't too far, he could still see her...she was probably just...he had to know!

As he reached the main gate of the school he found it chained closed. He stared confused at the lock for a moment before the sound of boots registered and he was suddenly tackled from nowhere hitting the hard pavement with a cry of pain and feeling arms holding him down as cuffs were forced to his wrists.

He was rolled over to face the men who'd caught him, but in his blur they just looked like black shadows in the harsh sunlight. He blinked and flinched away letting the pain in his chest blossom and overwhelm him, taking him into the sweet darkness uncaring for what those shadows would do to him.

 

* * *

 

 

When he awoke, he was back in the medical ward at U.N.I.T handcuffed to the bed.

Clara was sat beside the bed, one hand holding his and a coffee cup in the other looking at a spot on the floor lost in her own thoughts.

He smiled and moved his hand to squeeze hers. She snapped to life and her eyes did that inflating thing again as she saw him awake.

"Hello" he rasped out as she stood setting aside the cup and leaning over to hug him carefully.

"Oh thank god...I was scared you wouldn't wake up" Clara choked as tear sprang to her eyes. That made the Doctor frown.

"Why?...it's only been a few hours" he asked

Clara snorted a laugh and shook her head.

"Doctor it's been two days...I was in Wales when the...fight, happened"

The TimeLord blinked. Fight? He didn't recall a fight, he stabbed- oh wait.

"I'm so sorry about Christian, he was only helping me out keeping the place clean and driving me here and back but recently I think the cafe stops and letting him look after my flat made him think I was interested in him" she huffed hard wiping a tear from her cheek. "He'll recover well according to the doctor's though"

"Did you sleep with him?" he asked and Clara gasped.

"No!...he wanted too...hell I had to shove him drunk into his own flat one night before he got a hand up my skirt!" she snarled thinking about the night they when with the other teachers to the pub.

"Why do I always attract the selfish and possessive guys?" she pondered out loud and The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

"Not you of course!" she quickly added lifting his hand to kiss the knuckles.

"I fucking stabbed the guy Clara...if that doesn't make me possessive I don't know what it makes me" he sighed hard wincing and hissing as his chest ached. He looked down to see the original healing scar was back to being bright red, burning and neatly stitched.

"Blood clot...one of your hearts stopped they had to rush you into surgery again" Clara muttered closing the gown over the scar. "You'll be fine in a few days"

"I-why don't you just let me die? I'm causing enough chaos..." he growled angrily at himself when more tears appeared in her eyes.

"Love makes us do stupid things..." she sighed. "I-I wouldn't let them no operate, I'd told Kate they had to save you...I guess were just as possessive as each other... for each other..."

The Doctor reached up for her face and cupped her cheek. "I'm sorry..." he sighed. He didn't have to say he was apologising for regenerating.

"Don't...don't say sorry for changing because you haven't, you were hurt, you didn't have a choice and I still love you" she sobbed sitting on the bed and laying down into his arms as he pulled her close.

"The courts going to make me stay..." he sighed knowing full well things were about to get worse. Clara shook her head and brushed a hand over his stubble.

"Kate's down there now arguing the case...she's got a fool proof plan, there's a chance they'll give you parole once your healed" she smiled. "Good thing too school holidays are soon"

"Missy?" he asked and Clara frowned.

"I'm not sure... the last thing I heard was the court had agreed her arrest. Kate said she'd taken it quietly for once and I'm guessing she's locked up now"

Clara was surprised when he started to cry. She held him tight as he cried into her arm, the women had caused mass chaos, she wasn't overly sure why he was so heartbroken over her arrest. But she guessed it had something to do with what the women said to her on the phone.

_"Take care of him for me Clara...it will be awhile before these humans let me see him again, don't let him do anything stupid or forget that I'm here - I'll be back for him, as much as we fight I could never say no to my Theta"_

 

That hadn't been the Mistress. At least the one she knew.


End file.
